My first sexual experience was terrible. I was so nervous that I couldn’t get wood. This has happened to me 3 times. I have only ever had one proper girlfriend with who me I could perform well.
Is this got anything to do with the sz? I think I read somewhere that sexual dysfunction is a predictor of bad outcomes for sz.
I know this probably doesn’t matter to most guys, but this is actually endearing to a lot of women, when a guy needs to be comfortable with a woman before he can perform. It’s considered to be like… a more emotionally deep/evolved man. I was with a guy once who couldn’t stay hard because we didn’t know each other very well and he was nervous. I wasn’t disappointed at all, it was very endearing, we just smoked and talked for the night instead, it was no big deal.
as a guy who suffers a similar issue, I have to say Turnip is right, its a matter of comfort, and the fact is, in a recent study (please keep in mind not all guys are honest in these studies so it wont be perfect) 67% of men admitted to being unable to perform with a woman before going on a fifth date (assuming one date per week with daily socialization in between)
my first time, well the first time I TRIED anyway, I was so embarrassed about not be able to keep it up even with her help, I ended up in the bathroom trying to hide away…granted I was 13…
it could be, in my own experience,(meaning what my gay friends tell me) with homosexual sexual couples there isn’t as much expectation and there is a lot more emotional understanding, whereas with straight couples guys tend to BELIEVE there is a high expectation, even if there isn’t, and they tend to have a harder time revealing their real emotions to their partner. my roommate’s mom is a couples therapy mediator, and according to the pamphlet she gave me when I first met her, heterosexual men are afraid of being seen as weak or ‘feminine’ if they talk about their feelings or have trouble performing, even if their partner has no issue with either of these things.
I didn’t lose my virginity till later than I want to admit. Um, with a woman. I was already crazy and medicated, so I was on viagra. But I felt immensely frustrated having sex and kept withdrawing and freaking out a bit. She was patient with me and, within two or three days, I was functioning more or less normally, though it took many more encounters before I began to actually feel the interior of a vagina instead of just a sense of warmth.
My point is that, if you lost your virginity late in life, it might be due to that. That’s what I attribute it to, anyway.
Yeah, every time I try to play “Stairway to Heaven” in front of her, I get so nervous that I forget half of the lyrics and she ends up feeling sorry for me.
I should say this is all before I got on meds. I’ve always had the issue of the “no boner” factor. I was only nervous my first time and the other times when I was nervous I could actually get harder than a rock. The first time though could probably be attributed to the alcohol me and her were drinking. The second time wasn’t even the second time because I couldn’t get hard AT ALL. Then I try to talk to her another day over facebook and she puts on there that whole situation and another girl threatens to spill all my secrets.
This is why I have no friends. I turn my back on people who treat me like that, mostly anyways. I had a time where I wouldn’t let a certain person go but I’ve moved on since then. F@k them. F@king hate em. I just read a post where you and Minnii were talking and something she said about how some people can’t form healthy relationships sounds about right for some of the people I’ve dealt with. Some people just have a pessimistic world view 100% of the time but think they are the best sh@t there is sometimes. That just pisses me off and I hope they f@k the f@k off for good.
I’ve been in that same situation before and it sucked. This illness blows in many ways. As far as erection problems, what has helped me for that is daily exersice like squats and lower ab workouts, I gues it is because the blood rushes to that area. I dont use weights but I use full extension and one legged jump squats. I work lower abs awhile doing pull ups like bringing my legs up. Eating healthy via healthy vegetables kale etc help.
Also just getting to know the girl well will help with some people in alot of instances but I learned to not forget the physical aspect.
Yeah but do you see how we are those people, too? Both ass holes and people who only attract ass holes, both parties can’t form healthy relationships. Even if you, me and Minnii are not ass holes, we are still not forming healthy relationships, are we? This is why I am more focused on introspection and trying to figure out what it is about me that has gotten me into bad relationships. My goal is to change things about myself until I can form healthy relationships. Otherwise you become what you hate.
Well I guess you can cherry pick and arrange words until you see a pattern anywhere. My world view is not pessimistic. I say what I do but that doesn’t mean two things are connected. They can be similar in YOUR mind but that doesn’t mean they are in mine. If they do have a connection, then I’ve already explained it.
If I worry about what I’ve done to people, I end up begging for their forgiveness. F@k that. People aren’t perfect so I can’t expect myself to be either. If I happen to hurt a few people along the way, oh well that’s life. If the other person wants to fix the relationship that’s fine, but it takes two to tango so I’m not going to want to fix something that they have no interest in fixing. I’d like to, but I won’t do it. I’m not perfect and I accept that. If other people really care, they would too. That’s why I just keep to myself and let relationships develop naturally.
I can’t fit into a fixed point in the space of someone’s imagination because they say so, that is what lead me to the situation with the “certain person”. If I really wanted to get involved in someone’s life I’d get drunk with them, but that proves to be horrible both in the moment and in aftermath.