Another night **trigger warning**

Another night, will they hurt me?
Last night was not so fun
I was sending them all away
And a woman’s voice said “Let him take you.”
A woman. Not used to hearing women.
I was upset. I asked her who she was, she said Lilith.
I didn’t believe her.
She stood in the corner of my room, I felt her there.
And kept repeating the same thing again and again.
“Let him take you.”
Referring to…whatever thing that wanted to hurt me I guess.
I didn’t want to.
Her voice so loud. Booming.
Scared me to death.
I got in bed.
I still fought, I did.
And then she was over me, holding me down with others.
I was so scared. She said “Shhh it’s ok. You’ll enjoy it. This is a good thing.”
They hurt me.
It didn’t last long. But they hurt me.
Then they made me get off to bad things. I wanted to cry but they talked me through it and comforted me.
Didn’t let me stop.
When I finished they said I could go to sleep and I’d been good.
They praised me. Then they left.

That happened to me last night. It happened and no one knows except you guys now. I just got out of a depressive episode but sometimes it feels like I’m being pulled back into the pit.

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Terrible it a’ll ended up happening again after the brief hiatus :confused: Im certain you have the internal strength to not let this drag you back into a depression. Remember these experiences do NOT define your value as a person

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They saw me typing about that and decided to attack unfortunately. Specifically the part where I said sometimes I wanted them to attack just to get it over with made them decide to move in. Horrible.

I am horribly tense and scared now. I was driving to pick up my brother and one of them said that because I went to a bishop for help and they prayed for me things were going to be much worse now. They said it had been like making a challenge to the devil and I shouldn’t have done it. I was dissociating as I drove and felt like I was outside of my body again. Rough.

Have you tried sleeping with a night light? Maybe it would take the edge off. Just trying to help.

I always sleep with my lamp on. When I was younger I had to sleep with every light in my room on or I’d go into horrible paranoia fits. My lamp is dimmer.

To this day I can’t sleep in total darkness. Sets off my symptoms very badly and I start visually hallucinating very scary things.

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I need to take a benzo but I’m scared to, they’re giving off a very threatening energy and don’t want me to.

I’m not allowed to do anything that could send them away or they’ll punish me.

Wow. They are really relentless. A benzos really might help though. Maybe if combined with your med they can go away for sure this time. But I don’t know, you are obviously more familiar with this than I. If you ever want to DM me feel free too. Going through heavy stuff can be really hard alone.

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