Another night, will they hurt me?
Last night was not so fun
I was sending them all away
And a woman’s voice said “Let him take you.”
A woman. Not used to hearing women.
I was upset. I asked her who she was, she said Lilith.
I didn’t believe her.
She stood in the corner of my room, I felt her there.
And kept repeating the same thing again and again.
“Let him take you.”
Referring to…whatever thing that wanted to hurt me I guess.
I didn’t want to.
“LET HIM TAKE YOU.”
Her voice so loud. Booming.
Scared me to death.
I got in bed.
I still fought, I did.
And then she was over me, holding me down with others.
I was so scared. She said “Shhh it’s ok. You’ll enjoy it. This is a good thing.”
They hurt me.
It didn’t last long. But they hurt me.
Then they made me get off to bad things. I wanted to cry but they talked me through it and comforted me.
Didn’t let me stop.
When I finished they said I could go to sleep and I’d been good.
They praised me. Then they left.
That happened to me last night. It happened and no one knows except you guys now. I just got out of a depressive episode but sometimes it feels like I’m being pulled back into the pit.
Terrible it a’ll ended up happening again after the brief hiatus Im certain you have the internal strength to not let this drag you back into a depression. Remember these experiences do NOT define your value as a person
They saw me typing about that and decided to attack unfortunately. Specifically the part where I said sometimes I wanted them to attack just to get it over with made them decide to move in. Horrible.
I am horribly tense and scared now. I was driving to pick up my brother and one of them said that because I went to a bishop for help and they prayed for me things were going to be much worse now. They said it had been like making a challenge to the devil and I shouldn’t have done it. I was dissociating as I drove and felt like I was outside of my body again. Rough.
Have you tried sleeping with a night light? Maybe it would take the edge off. Just trying to help.
I always sleep with my lamp on. When I was younger I had to sleep with every light in my room on or I’d go into horrible paranoia fits. My lamp is dimmer.
To this day I can’t sleep in total darkness. Sets off my symptoms very badly and I start visually hallucinating very scary things.
I need to take a benzo but I’m scared to, they’re giving off a very threatening energy and don’t want me to.
I’m not allowed to do anything that could send them away or they’ll punish me.
Wow. They are really relentless. A benzos really might help though. Maybe if combined with your med they can go away for sure this time. But I don’t know, you are obviously more familiar with this than I. If you ever want to DM me feel free too. Going through heavy stuff can be really hard alone.
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