Anosognosia nearly killed me. At no point in time prior to my diagnosis did I believe I had a mental illness. Did anyone else suffer this?
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I was obsessed with the Radioā¦
Had a family intervention. They all came over and took me to the Hospital. I didnāt believe i was mentally ill. I just thought my family was out of the loop with regards to the Media conspiracy against me.
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If it werenāt for my childhood ADHD diagnosis, then Iād be able to say yes without any conditions.
It certainly helped having a very insightful and outspoken wife for the 7 years preceding my first psychotic break. Without the thought implantations from her efforts to penetrate my ego-fortress, Iād have probably been lost forever for sure.
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I sensed there was something amiss but as for seeing it in terms of a distinct mental illness - then no.
I am ambivalent about the term anosognosia. I think lack of insight exists but the term can sometimes be shorthand for āpatient and pdoc didnāt see eye to eyeā or something similar.
An example: It was once written in my notes that I read a lot about mental illness(pdoc didnt like that) but had little insight into my illness.
Fast forward 2.5 years and coming under a new pdoc and the diagnosis I had had little insight about was changed quite dramatically(schizoaffective mixed type to personality disorder nos).
Therefore I had had little insight about a diagnosis it was eventually decided I didnāt have anyway.
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I hate that pervasive attitude in professionals. Like how dare we use Google and try to be involved in our recovery process. I am completely okay with my pdoc disagreeing with me and explaining why, but the whole wrist-slapping I get from both her and my therapist if I so much as look up metabolic effects of meds is ridiculous. I donāt think it gets more condescending than that.
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In my case the thing that peed the pychiatrist off (a locum) was mentioning fish oil. I was told in so many words it was nonsense.
I have never had a pdoc discuss possible side effects of medication or actually much about what the meds do.
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My pdoc had me sign a paper saying that I had been warned about possible side effects, but we never talked about them at all, and then I was scolded for looking them up online. I think itās stigma in the most ironic and worst place possible - the pdocās office. Like we canāt be allowed to know risks or weāll go off the deep end.
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My pdoc keeps harping on me to take fish oil. I lie and say that I do. I got tired of the fish burps and having to take so many pills and such.
I do eat fish which most studies about the cardiovascular benefits say is better than the oil anyway.
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I sometimes think pdocs have split personalities. Theyāll bang on about lack of insight but if your intelligent and ask questions/seek answers that can go against you too.
I certainly think a lot of them have a narcissistic āGod complexā.
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My family admitted me to the psych ward. I had no idea what was happening to me. They didnāt either. But that was in 1972 and information was much less easily available.
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I suffered from severe Anosognosia for many years - I had no clue into my illness, I thought that my strong delusions were ānormalā.
Insight came creeping in after I was given Abilify (an Antipsychotic)
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Yes. I think the term also applies to ālack of medicationā. Go off meds long enough and my insight evaporates. Mrs. Pixel has threatened to club me to death with a tripod the next time this happens.
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Last time I saw my pdoc, as the nurse practitioner was off sick(yet again) he said I was doing better, the thing is I can only partially see that. In terms of occupationally and socially thereās been no difference. Sometimes I wonder why I am on the meds and whether I need them.
The biggest thing that keeps me from going off them is the fact that alternative help isnāt really available ,and the possible knock on effects on disability benefits ie try arguing you have a serious mental illness but donāt take meds.
Have been chased up for being a little late for the depot before which means I guess that the mental health professionals think I need it.
Whether any of that amounts to lack of insight ,ie not seeing how much a medication is helping, I donāt know.
I had it for almost a year after my diagnosis and after I started taking meds. My first diagnose was paranoid sz and I kept searching for things about it and saying āI donāt have thisā, then my diagnose changed to sza and I started to research about it too, and became certain I had drug induced psychosis, then I researched drug induced psychosis and became conviced I didnāt have it, that I had another thing. Some thing other than sz/sza. Then I found this forum, started lurking and reading and it all seemed pretty much what Iāve been through so I became conviced, created an account and here I am.
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I had anosognosia for several years. Luckily I had a delusion that I was dying (later on), so I gladly went to the hospital each time. I even called an ambulance once.
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Yeah I had the Jesus delusions and other religious hallucinations on more than one ocassion over a few years.
Didnāt even know what mental illness really was about.
I was on cloud 9 thinking I was the chosen one of few to do gods future work.
I remember typing up like 50 pages of stuff in a day that God āmy voicesā was telling me about. Basically as fast as I could type the information would flow.
When I finally stopped believing in the possibility of it being god. A year later I had another episode but it became about aliens from āelsewhereā
I have 3 distinct episodes that I had lack of insight.
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I still lack of insight even with the medication.
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Just for a few months after I was put in a group home. Some people can go years without thinking anything is wrong them.
I had this throughout my 20ās, off and on. I believed I was sabotaged by the powers that be; I wasnāt sick, I had electromagnetically induced schizophrenia (yes, i made that up when I was sick). They wanted me to experience psychological torture if I didnāt take their mind control pillā¦I denied I was schizophrenic for years.
When I took their medicine it was only because I was in crisis and it was either that or something like suicideāonce I felt better Iād go off them because āthey were mind control pills killing my real thoughts.ā
Finally gave up and took their mind control pills long term. To my surprise, my mind cleared, my thoughts and sensation of privacy were restored, and I became high functioning again. Mind control pills worked read Abilify works
I still have doubts as to the origins of my illness, but overall I think itās in my genetics and was triggered by stressful events, not by shadow agents (at least thatās what I want them to think, heheheh, just joking)
Of those who had Anosognosia and donāt now, what turned it around for you? I was thinking it might be depot medication, but Iām sure this varies.
Iām not sure you could call my initial denial Anosognosia. I went a year without medication, but I was seeing therapist and had fairly good insight within that. What turned it around for me was hospitalization and the realization I would likely lose my job if I didnāt start medication.