Angel Baby(1995) (Blog entry) And saying 'hi'

The other night I actually stayed up until morning surfing YouTube. Somehow it slipped through the cracks (for me) regarding how great it can be regarding music and movie passages. At first I looked up obvious fare for a guy in my position… such as ‘The Aviator’, ‘Good Will Hunting’, ‘A Beautiful Mind’, ‘The Soloist’, and even “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”. Eventually I found a video that had collected the top 10 movies on Schizophrenia. Sadly there was only one [new to me] that avoided tropes and handled the topic(s) responsibly. (The soloist deserves attention for dropping the ball seemingly).

But the one that stood out was an Aussie film from (1995) titled ‘Angel Baby’. I haven’t seen the movie but I ‘shared’ the ‘plug’ with loved ones on my Twitter Feed. This entry is not about dull summation, but more importantly what I LEARNED FINALLY about myself…(And yes you can learn from the mere act of talking/sharing.) I learned that my threshold for embarrassment has changed/or even ‘mutated’, (which is a severe word, but in science it’s actually quite neutral.) In the trailer there’s a lot of ‘nakedness’, a person slinking down beside a toilet, and frankly a scene that appears to be public copulation under intensifying lights.

Again I learned that I’m angry enough/and it’s important enough, that I’m willing to have a certain ‘nakedness’ illustrate, and/or illuminate others… (Society?). I think we saw this at Woodstock. It’s not funny that I’ve been reciting to myself of late that I possess ‘body heat’ to share with, ahem, a partner. Or that I possess nerve endings to satisfy an ‘adversary’, should I have a bad car accident. To me, it feels quite right to say one way or another we reduce people in my shoes - which normally is a wake up call.

There’s still some clothing left I guess, I can’t press on as much as I may wish at times. But I think I put a good face on those with mental illness. And I think it’s a helpful and educational movie to see; I support it.

[This entry may not be my best… but still it may have been a long time coming. I’d really like to get it to print.]

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Thanks for the ‘like’, Ever… I’m glad I now know that you saw this. I think we have a lot in common and I think about this site a lot I just don’t have the right mix to be a usual suspect.

I “like” this entry and I think it helps bring me full circle. Because I once spoke on triggering topic(s). But what can I say… bad stuff got INSPIRED in me, things that were originally outside my imagination. Now my mental ‘lexicon’ is tarnished… (Lost innocence) Plus I take the wrong risks at times which I learned once about those with alcoholism.

A bit triggering for some I imagine.

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i seen this movie. really enjoyed it

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Yes a bit triggering. I’m not gonna live that down… and I am really internet embarrassed. Or just normally/plain embarrassed.

But being afflicted mentally, being intelligent, having a healthy drive below the belt, and differentiating yourself in an organization, is a recipe for pain. People think of you as an “Evil Genius”… and not to trigger yet again, but sadistic topic(s) can occur. I was on the losing end. But most people won’t make my type of mistakes. I’m definitely a “Live One” as they say.

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