A friend of mine told me that it’s very hard with me sometimes, that she sacrifices a lot to be my friend, we do not meet much ’ shes from the college when she said that I understood that I have no social life at all,
That for a year now I’ve avoided events and parties, and I do not even go to the pub anymore, and not because I dont want to, I really love to hav fun, but it’s so hard and scary, and this is for life
2 Likes
That doesn’t sound very nice of her 
4 Likes
It is for life.
But it doesn’t have to be this bad forever.
If you work at coping with your symptoms and take proper medication,
You can enjoy these activities again.
3 Likes
I refuse to take meds, its feel they are taking my identity, but I really have to work on social a bit, every event that I went to end in hallucinations and Disaster, I’ll try to work with my shrink about it … Thank you for answering
1 Like
Yes she said it a little hard, but she’s been my friend for two years and in the end she told the truth, I’m hard for everyone, I’m a burden,
Also to myself, sz stinks somtime
1 Like
kind of pointless if you aint taking meds, aint it …
It is not pointless, there are things you can work on psychologically, or at least try, I am an artist and can not take medication so I will stop being an artist and I will be nothing and I will kill myself
1 Like
You should change this dangerous mindset.
3 Likes
Have you tried many different meds? if the ones they prescribed have side effect you can’t handle try another? I think that is very important. Try everything out there and when you do find a better one, fiddle with the dosage until you are able to be both creative and peaceful in your head.
2 Likes
I totally understand you there. I can’t play keyboard with these depot injections either. I keep asking my pdoc for pills and he won’t give them to me. Now they want to put me on every three month Invega injections. I am even more leery of those. I’m afraid of weight gain and it affecting my creativity on the keyboard.
It can indeed be a hard isolating illness, I agree with you. But loneliness itself doesn’t have to last forever. There are always opportunities to meet people and improve your situation in life.
1 Like
All of our drugs affect dopamine, and dopamine helps to be creative, so no, I can not take drugs, even a psychologicly I cant
I am very scared for you @ola please seek a psychiatrist and tell him what you are thinking!
1 Like
I told my doctor, she knows the situation, she really wants me to take but I can not, they killed me in a hospital and now drugs seem to me like brain death
1 Like
I don’t feel its my place to command someone to do something but I will say this. Even though all the meds may work on a similar neurological pathway, there is a great variety in what side effects they produce. I would ask that you consider giving them a shot with the understanding that not only is there variety in the effects of the meds, but also the dosage being correct is important.
As I have said before, during my psychotic break I felt in some ways happier than I ever had. My delusions were all negative but I felt I had a sense of certainty and simplicity that I’ve always lacked. But now, on my meds, I can be calm. Calm is really awesome.
I work really hard at writing fiction. And, I admit, when I am in the frenzied, schizophrenic state I lack the inhibitions which have plagued me all my life. I write like I am possessed. But even though some of it was good, it was like me in that state. It lacked balance. And the stuff I write now is just as good if not a little slower to produce.
Writing has become a very important outlet. To be honest, if I could I would write all day and do nothing else. And on 15mg Zyprexa, I’m too tired to write. Also I’m a big fellow. My ass is gigantic and on 15mg Zyprexa I am unable to prevent it from getting more so, to the point it is endangering my health.
So I got so fed up with days of not writing, I tried Abilify. I was able to write again and started loosing weight but I couldn’t sleep and I started having delusions.
So I switched back to 10mg. I started sleeping a little better and could still lose weight but more slowly. Yet still I had too many delusions. I remember screaming in my head that I just wanted to be able to have the energy to write my horrible prose, sleep, and fit through doors. Why is that asking to much from the universe?
So then I basically ordered my psychiatrist to give me 12.5mg. I have to take a 10 and a 2.5 but it seems to be the best solution for me. I’m able to write. I’m not losing weight but as long as I’m careful I’m not gaining. (I’m got some dance DVDs so maybe I can sweat away some of the weight) And I can sleep. But like I said, most importantly, I don’t feel like I’m running in hyper mode all the time. I like being calm.
So the point of the long diatribe is if you try different ones and different dosages, you might be able to find one you can live with. You can always choose to stop taking them so why not try them out for awhile?
4 Likes
You can say that I have a psychological block, I hate the side effects, and I feel that the drugs disconnect me from myself, and my whole inner world, this whole garden just closes, calm is pleasant, I have calm days … I just can not push them to the throat
You are not the same person you used to be , it’s time to reinvent yourself. Not ideal but it really goes with sz and recovery. My therapist told me ,when I first got sick to continue to do the same things so I wouldn’t loose myself . I think it’s impossible to keep your old life. You just have to start over. But meds are needed.
1 Like
Slowly I internalize the disability of the sz and learn to live with it.Even my doctor told me that if I could cope with all the difficulties then I could choose not to take medication.Luckily, I have no cognitive decline, so it is only the difficulties
I am very strong and suffer from physical sexsual and mental abuse for many years. Today I am in a good place, studying, real friends and art. All life experiences have strengthened me greatly.
And I learned to love and accept myself. If I see a significant deterioration, I will begin treatment
1 Like