I wrote about my voices in a Discord channel, and some of my voices took offense that I didn’t introduce all of them.
So here’s the text I wrote about my voices:
In order of appearance:
Mia: She’s negative and always comments on overyone, especially me. She mirrors my insecurities and things people have said to me in the past, and I’ve come to realise she does it to prepare me for when it happens again. She used to take over my body and control my actions, until I got on the right meds and was able to make compromises with her.
She also sometimes gives me orders to do ”less pleasant” things.
Aamund: He’s a priest. He talks a lot about how God will punish me or disapprove my actions and thoughts. I’ve come to learn through therapy that he represents the christian community I grew up in, and the shame they made me feel for not being one of them nor conforming to their standards.
The Audience: a collection of 32 indistinguishable voices who yell Mia or Aamund’s words and commands at me to amplify the effect. Aamund is their leader.
Azelia: She is a good girl. She’s friendly and helpful, and calms me down when I’m upset. She’s my voice of reason and was born out of a desperate need for someone to tell me my feelings were okay and valid. Someone to be on my side when the world was against me.
Blank: They’re anhedonic and pessimistic. They’re the voice of my depression, and often tries to take over when I’m down, though I rarely hear from them anymore as my depression is under control. What they typically say is ”nothing matters” or ”why even bother”
Chris: Chris is such a good guy. He’s care-free and cheerful, and just wants everyone to have a good time. He’s a ‘bro’ type of guy. He often encourages me to be myself. He went away for a good while, because I was in an environment that required me to supress those personality traits. Mia told me he was dead, but I’m glad he’s not.
I know I’ve kind of stolen his name, but he said it was alright and he was kind of honoured.
Viktor: He’s kind of a bully. He’s solution-oriented, but his solutions are often extremes. ”Punch him in the face, that’ll shut him up” or ”jump out of the car, that way you won’t have to sit there and be uncomfortable”. He sometimes gives commands, but he’s accepted that I’m mostly not listening.
… Except for when I play Fifa. Viktor is a football fan and my game actually improves when he can be bothered to help out.
Peter: He is my newest voice, I’ve only had him a few months. He worries about everything, and is very concerned for our well-being. He seems to be the only voice that recognises the body he’s in is mine, and that if it gets hurt, so does he. I think he reflects my anxiety and my tendency to over-worry about things. At the same time, he fills a need for someone to care for my well-being, and for that reason, Azelia has taken a liking to him.
Also, Aamund sometimes talks about God loving me.
The first friend I told about wanting to change my legal name to Chris, offered to help me with the paperwork, and immediately, all the voices started yelling at me to do it. I even heard a “God loves you regardless” from Aamund
And everytime someone calls me Chris, my voice Chris squeals or laughs happily
So there you go, there’s all of them.
Feel free to post yours and/or say hello to mine!