Schizophrenia.com

An overview of my voices

I wrote about my voices in a Discord channel, and some of my voices took offense that I didn’t introduce all of them.

So here’s the text I wrote about my voices:

In order of appearance:

Mia: She’s negative and always comments on overyone, especially me. She mirrors my insecurities and things people have said to me in the past, and I’ve come to realise she does it to prepare me for when it happens again. She used to take over my body and control my actions, until I got on the right meds and was able to make compromises with her.
She also sometimes gives me orders to do ”less pleasant” things.

Aamund: He’s a priest. He talks a lot about how God will punish me or disapprove my actions and thoughts. I’ve come to learn through therapy that he represents the christian community I grew up in, and the shame they made me feel for not being one of them nor conforming to their standards.

The Audience: a collection of 32 indistinguishable voices who yell Mia or Aamund’s words and commands at me to amplify the effect. Aamund is their leader.

Azelia: She is a good girl. She’s friendly and helpful, and calms me down when I’m upset. She’s my voice of reason and was born out of a desperate need for someone to tell me my feelings were okay and valid. Someone to be on my side when the world was against me.

Blank: They’re anhedonic and pessimistic. They’re the voice of my depression, and often tries to take over when I’m down, though I rarely hear from them anymore as my depression is under control. What they typically say is ”nothing matters” or ”why even bother”

Chris: Chris is such a good guy. He’s care-free and cheerful, and just wants everyone to have a good time. He’s a ‘bro’ type of guy. He often encourages me to be myself. He went away for a good while, because I was in an environment that required me to supress those personality traits. Mia told me he was dead, but I’m glad he’s not.
I know I’ve kind of stolen his name, but he said it was alright and he was kind of honoured.

Viktor: He’s kind of a bully. He’s solution-oriented, but his solutions are often extremes. ”Punch him in the face, that’ll shut him up” or ”jump out of the car, that way you won’t have to sit there and be uncomfortable”. He sometimes gives commands, but he’s accepted that I’m mostly not listening.

… Except for when I play Fifa. Viktor is a football fan and my game actually improves when he can be bothered to help out.

Peter: He is my newest voice, I’ve only had him a few months. He worries about everything, and is very concerned for our well-being. He seems to be the only voice that recognises the body he’s in is mine, and that if it gets hurt, so does he. I think he reflects my anxiety and my tendency to over-worry about things. At the same time, he fills a need for someone to care for my well-being, and for that reason, Azelia has taken a liking to him.


Also, Aamund sometimes talks about God loving me.
The first friend I told about wanting to change my legal name to Chris, offered to help me with the paperwork, and immediately, all the voices started yelling at me to do it. I even heard a “God loves you regardless” from Aamund :open_mouth:

And everytime someone calls me Chris, my voice Chris squeals or laughs happily

So there you go, there’s all of them.
Feel free to post yours and/or say hello to mine!

4 Likes

I didn’t read this much. You’re DID.

All of Myne are known of people by me so I won’t disclose their names.
There’s a female she was like a girlie girl quite chatty and cute

Then this guy who ■■■■■■ me really well but also had the power to send me to heaven and hell

And his dad who is one in heart with his son

And this other guy I feel really self conscious around

That’s about it in my head. The outside environment is different things

:grimacing:

I’m really not. Mia and Chris used to take over control, but they don’t anymore. I never blacked out, I was always aware of what was happening

They’re alters. DID is frequently misdiagnosed.

Oh yea forgot about the sped up voices that come in streams sometimes.
I mean in the past all of this

DID happens from an abusive past, and leads to finding other identities.

1 Like

Did comes from a traumatic past and is a coping mechanism.
I did use to dissociate a lot, but like I said, I’ve never lost time or blacked out.
I don’t have severe enough childhood trauma for DID to happen. I was bullied badly and such, though.

Voices can appear from all sorts of trauma or stress, and some people’s voices have really elaborate personality traits.

sounds like the cast of a really cool movie ‘sorry’ i hope you dont suffer much but i’d concentrate on the good as much as possible,

i had intrusive thoughts when i was ill, cant remember specific voices but i did hear things,

atm i concentrate on what is real, i feel guided and loved by something greater than myself, its a good feeling :slight_smile: its powerful and i love it.

you’ll have to research it, honey, I’m not trying to confuse, but it seems classic signs.

I don’t think you’re right, Daze.

alright. thanks. 15151515

Please don’t call me ‘honey’. We’re not at a ‘honey’ level, so I can only assume it was condescending.

If you have informative links to back up your theory, I’d be happy to read them. But considering you admitted to not reading much, I’m assuming all you read was that Mia sometimes takes control, and then made up your mind.

1 Like

that was really unnecessary. I don’t need to feel put down by being loving and kind.

You opened yourself up with this post, what are you expecting?

Not to be told by someone who is not a professional, that the professionals got my diagnosis wrong.

Where’ve you been? They get it wrong sometimes up to over 10 years of being a psych patient.

I’ve been on this site longer than you have.

That doesn’t make you smarter than me.

I pushed for a DID diagnosis when I was first diagnosed, but my psych said it wasn’t viable. Every time I’ve been re-diagnosed, it’s been on the psychosis spectrum.

Even if I had a twinge of DID at some point, I don’t dissociate anymore and nobody takes control of me.

I used to have three voices. I mostly have one now, ownie.

Anthony, a guy I used to work with, that’s his real name. The leader of the IRA in my town. He’s very sadistic and very focused on making me suffer he gets enjoyment from tormenting me. Saying this, when he was at its worst on a plane ride home (he tried to get me to open the emergency exits,in flight and wanted me to make the plane crash) I actually laughed at him and compared him to Homer Simpson. I lold at the time which took enormous strength.

Noel, he’s an IRA operative who I attributed to my old neighbor who I thought was watching me through cameras. He was very sadistic but rational and intelligent. He’s second in command, but at the same rank of Anthony.His one focus was to punish me for the insult I said to Anthony (leader of the IRA in my town) and to make me insane. His words.

Ownie, he’s a member of the Provisional IRA and was sent to keep an eye on Noel and Anthony, to make sure they don’t make me do something stupid, he’s a guardian of sorts. He’s a high ranking PIRA commander on the same level as Anthony but in the PIRA instead of the IRA. But he has a dark side, in the early stages he was very sadistic as well telling me to kill and got enjoyment out of my suffering (when the voices got loud) he’s the one I hear when I get whispers and faint voices nowadays.

John, is the boss of ownie. He’s the head of the PIRA in my town. Ownie answers to John but not Anthony or Noel. He came because I was intimidating ownie by reading his mind (or hearing his thoughts) and John was meant there to prove that I couldn’t read minds and to reassure ownie. He was a very old fashioned, kind of reassuring voice which Sounded like he was the boss of the PIRA. Always ensured me it was never too late to start a new life away from all the voices. He actually made a deal with Anthony to make him stop sending voices for two days a week. But he also had a dark side, non shelontly telling me to kill myself after I tried but failed to rationalize my way out of hearing voices.john told me to do this as an experiment by Telling myself it wasn’t possible to hear voices. It actually dulled them a bit.

1 Like