An attempt to translate my poem

Creativity
1

This is my attempt to translate a paragraph from a poem I just wrote. I wrote it in danish. Please tell me if it makes sense

“I’m colored by your words even when you’re silent.
There is so much I want to experience with you but I feel like I’m drowning.
It is now or never because we don’t know if This relationship will last for another week or just an hour. But I don’t give a ■■■■ wheather you’re the one and only or just some one. We are together and I’m in exstacy. The next moment I fall into pieces”

It is much better in danish (my Mother tongue) but I Hope you’ll understand. It is about an old lovestory which apparently still means a lot to me.

7 Likes
2

I like the first sentence the best.

The last sentence reminds me of this track:

Lil Peep - Star Shopping (Official video) - Bing video

Im falling in to pieces myself tonight.

Keep writing.

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Thank you for your answer.
I remember the song.
Are you okay now?

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Yes, thanks, much better. I have just spent two hours cleaning my apartment and doing other chores.

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Congrats with your now cleaned appartement :joy: I was going to attend a class for creative writing. But last week I was stressed out and cancelled everything. I regret that now because I would like to write, but I hate showing up when I’ve already told the teacher that I wont.

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You should do that anyway. If you want to try to write a short story or even a novel, this (danish) book got some tricks.

Manual til skrivekunsten af Robert Zola Christensen | Bog & idé (bog-ide.dk)

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7

Beautifully written. I think it comes across very well in English

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8

Thank you for your answer. It is the first time I’ve posted a poem in english.

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9

I would love to read more. You’ve got a good “voice”, and that shines through in any language

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10

Thank you for your help :grinning:

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Thanks again. But I think I might continue in danish. I believe much is lost in translation

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12

‘IFall to Pieces’ A Patsy Cline song Sort of fitting -

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the first thing you want to do is read poetry.

if you’re taking a class, there will be somebody in the class
who knows their stuff by being inclined toward something great they do themselves.

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Maybe I will join a poetry/literature class. But that will be a danish class.

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