Ever since I quit using cannabis more than a year ago, stopped abusing cocaine at the same time, drink considerably less, and stopped destroying my mind with porn, I have felt GREAT, except that I have this constant dissociation feeling where I don’t know what is real and what is not real. For example, I feel that all the people in my life are put here for a reason and that certain events keep happening due to something I did in my own life, kind of like a butterfly effect. Again, I am not high on anything, I take Latuda, Lithium, and Zoloft.
I feel like I am trapped in a computer program developed by the military or CIA and I cannot escape unless I accomplish a mission… as this feels real to me, whereas, I sometimes stare off into space blank like I am having a petit mal seizure. What the you know what should I do? Is this just part of recovery? Thank you!
In Schizophrenia there is a topic called “Special Mission” that applies to some of us. I sort of have it, and although it’s been a long time, I think it’s portrayed in the movie “Donnie Darko”. (In the off chance you haven’t seen it :))
You didn’t get sick all at once and you’re not going to get well all at once. Now that you’ve stopped self-medicating, you’re getting the full force of your delusions. This isn’t a bad thing as you’re now better equipped to deal with them. Look into CBT and therapy if you can.
Thanks for the help peeps, I also haven’t been sleeping very well for several years and sleep deprivation has been proven to lead to psychosis. Once I get this CPAP machine, I hear it will change my life; weight loss, higher energy, feeling better overall. I get it in October, I cannot wait! Thanks again.
Broooo how does anyone know if anything is real? We don’t test things for ourselves ALWAYS QUESTION WHAT YOU’RE BEING TOLD AND TRUST YOUR GUT. Okay my friend I think this is the beginning of a very powerful journey for you. All you have to do is decide if you want to learn more about this crazy world and all the conspiracies just like yours, or if you want to “cure it”… make it go away, even though I know you’re probably itching to know if you’re right or not.
I also think your weed smoking alcohol drinking and cocaine habits were little walls to keep this dissociating from happening earlier but honestly I could be full of wrong information that’s why you gotta think for yourself but open your mind learn about your curiosities and DIVE DEEP. (I love Infinite Waters on YouTube you could start with him!)
Okay peace guys I love you and remember whatever you end up doing is your choice your life your road up ahead. Honor yourself for making those choices. GOODNIGHT AZ