Right now I just don’t know, am I going to get into trouble again with the law or will I get by without doing that? That is not the answer. I thought about another public disturbance to get the help I need or make it necessary to take the big plunge off into the abyss. There should be another answer. I have been alone for over a year. I have only phone contact with my family and mental health professionals. I’ve gone dark. One night I lost fear and plunged off the cliff and didn’t care I didn’t exist. I wonder how many people survive this? I feel I’ve given up control by acknowledging that I might not make it much longer. Nobody should have to be so alone. Am I an exception?
It’s sad the bar is set so we have to be in real danger before we get support 
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jinx. you have friendship with us here on the cyberspace so don’t feel totally alone.
please try to reach out to a professional, as cold and u ncaring as they sometimes are, it is all we have and it often help s somewhat,
judy
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