Hello everyone. I was born and live in Australia and I’m 24 years old. About 4 years ago, I got into an argument with my Mother over a cigarette. She wouldn’t give me one so I started getting angry and she called the police. When they came I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette, I don’t know where I got it from, and I told the police officer that maybe I should have some sort of intervention, because at the time I was smoking Marijuana from time to time and I think it was starting to make me nervous and irritated, maybe because of the nature of the drug or maybe because of withdrawal. There were a lot of reasons I Co-operated with the police, mainly because I was scared of them as I had been picked up once before with a very small amount of marijuana, and being the emotional person I was, totally broke down at the police station, crying. I thought it was the end of the world. After the police left my house, a few days later, an organization called “Acute Care Team” knocked at my door, with a police officer with her. I felt obliged to co-operate as I was really afraid of police officers and was having a mild crisis at the time and thought all the help I could get would be useful. I made an appointment with an organization called “Early Psychosis” run by The Princess Alexandra Hospital situated here in Brisbane. After the first appointment, they prescribed me some Olanzapine but did not explain(to my recollection) that it was an anti psychotic drug. I took one, and just had a gut feeling that they were bad and never took them again. Being EXTREMELY naïve, I was having a panic attack one day and called one of the psychologists working at Early Psychosis and told her how I was feeling. She came to my house with a nurse, who convinced me to come to hospital for “respite”, not mentioning that the “hospital” was actually a really horrible Psych ward. From there I knew I was in from some serious trouble. I was put on an Involuntary treatment order as soon as I arrived and a young doctor confirmed it. I was in a panic and may have acted erratically, and I’m sure that cemented their opinion that I was severely mentally ill, but at the time I was addamently against the idea that I had a psychotic illness.
I have been up until recently. I;ve been on the I.T.O for four years now. Many horrible things have happened to me since then, mainly physically. My hair started falling out a few months after I was put on injectable medication. It was called paliperidone and other very horrible things have happened to my body but I don’t really feel up to mentioning them, out of fear of judgement. I 've spoken far too much, forgive me. I’ll just get to the point. I’m diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic but I have never heard voices, nor do I have any delusions. The only thing I have is chronic Self Referential thinking, especially lately, but I’ve always had that, ever since high school, but as I really liked myself 
in high school and was somewhat of a leader, they were always positive thoughts. Now as my body has rotted away and I’m overweight and a recluse these feelings have become negative…Sorry for going on, and I’m sorry for offending anyone who is having a really hard time with this illness. I have a lot more to say and any questions are welcome but it’s getting late. Maybe I’ll add to this on another date to tell you more about my symptoms.
What are ur major symptoms…
They think I have delusions about my body. They keep using the same old stuff from years ago but those were, aggression, hostility, self referential thinking. They put in the report that I was hallucinating but I wasn’t. My next door neighboor was a little strange and would yell weird stuff out during the day and slam pots and pans around at night. things at home were also getting strained between me and my mother. I would yell at her and slam doors and swear. She has a mental illness…it’s a long story.
When R u visiting ur pdoc next …??? Talk everything to him her . Sooner would be better.
Alert u parents about this illness…i know u can do it…
Only a trained Professional Psychiatrist can tell if you are schizophrenic or not.
From what you’ve written, I’m not sure about your diagnosis although I’ve never hallucinated or heard voices either. None of us are doctors on this forum. I suggest you get a second opinion…a re-evaluation of your file from a different professional, just to be sure and to put your mind at ease.
Well, if you’re not schizophrenic then it sounds like you have a massive personality disorder. Of the two, the schizophrenia is treatable. Something you’ll need to see psychiatrists and psychologists about, not strangers on an Internet forum who are not qualified to diagnose you.
If you dislike the drug olanzapine enough, maybe you could ask to be put on another. Ziprasidone (Geodon is its brand name.) has done a wonderful job of controlling my symptoms with the fewest side effects. If you have trouble with Ziprasidone maybe you can try another anti-psychotic. There is no reason for you to be miserable when there are so many drugs to choose from.
Damn dude. It’s the worst thing that can happen to you trust me. It’s like everybody knows but you.
Gods grace
I know I shouldn’t ask random strangers on the internet about this stuff, but I’ve had no luck with Psychiatrists.
I don’t know much about Personality disorders, but I’m not a nasty person or anything. Why do you think I have a personality disorder?
I mistakenly wrote as if those symptoms were present tense. I’m not aggressive or hostile anymore and I’ve never assaulted anyone. And that’s just what they wrote on the report of how I was presenting at the time. It’s REALLY complicated. I’m actually a really polite respectful person.
I don’t know much about personality disorders.
Thanks for being respectful. I wrote that rant really late at night in desperation and a lot of it is out of context. I’m not hostile anymore and I my opinion I never really was. Just really frustrated. I should probably re-write it because it doesn’t really properly represent the kind of person I am.
It’s not that simple. My Mother doesn’t even think I have Schizophrenia, neither does my sister, but my father is on the fence. If I told you all the ■■■■ that has happened to me because of these so called “doctors” you’d be shocked.
Same here…
Unfortunately, no-one here can help you with this. I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences with doctors, but we can’t diagnose or help you self-diagnose here. We’re not professionals.