Hi. I’m 27 years old. I’ve had anxiety my entire life, but not like this. About 3 weeks ago, I had extremely severe episode of sleep paralysis, which I’d had before, but not with any hallucinations. I saw a figure and heard my ex’s voice. I can’t tell if I was actually dreaming or if I had my eyes open and hallucinating. It gave me such extreme anxiety that I was afraid to sleep the next night.
The next night, I didn’t have sleep paralysis, but when I woke up, I saw a small bit of writing on the wall that disappeared after I blinked twice. To be clear, I was fully aware that these were not real and had no meaning. My anxiety level shot through the roof and I sobbed my eyes out convinced I’d lost it.
All that said, I was absolutely terrified and began to think that I have schizophrenia. For the past few weeks, I have not had anything like that again, but I have developed a phobia that I am coming down with schizophrenia. I am hyper aware of sounds thinking I could start to hallucinate at any moment. I am hyper analyzing my own thoughts to see if I hear any voices in my head. My ears have been ringing and my ears feel full.
Yesterday, while the AC was running, it almost sounded like I could hear someone whispering, even though I know it’s not real and I’m not sure if I really heard it, or if my anxious brain is just looking for things. My dreams have been intense, my mind has been racing, and I’ve broken down in tears multiple times convinced that I am prodromal (I have researched and googled frantically every day convincing myself that I am schizophrenic, so I know all the terms).
I have not actually seen anything or heard any clear voices during the day. It only happened those few times while I was half asleep or dreaming. But, I am literally shaking while writing this right now because I have convinced myself that I am losing it, even though I’m fully lucid, know what’s real and what’s not, have ZERO paranoia or delusions (except that I’m schizo lol) and still am going to work/functioning…but just constantly silently panicking and almost looking for proof. I dont know why this is happening.
HELP ME. I see a psychiatrist Wednesday, but what if I’m too early in the prodromal stages for them to diagnose me? I desperately need peace of mind.