Am I mentally ill?

DX'd - Other
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Hey, I’m super nervous to be writing this so bear with me a i guess. Im a 15 year old girl and I’ve been questioning my mental state for a couple of years now? I really dont know what to do since I come from a low income family where we live paycheck to paycheck in a stressful environment. I haven’t had an appointment with a psychiatric doctor ever, but my family has history of diagnosed mental illnesses, so that kinda scares me. I don’t take medication but i have been diagnosed with ADHD and I used to take adderall up until a few years ago when i stopped by choice.

I have an internal battle with myself and the most extreme question: am i medium who can speak to ghosts? I used to believe that was the most logical answer as a child, but now i don’t know. I see their shadows, even full apparitions of them if im unlucky, sometimes “hear” them. By hear them I mean they speak to me i guess telepathically with them. What they say pops into my mind and I used to think i could respond, but it never really worked. I also have anxiety that people can read my mind. I mean, if a ghost could, why not a human? But then that reasonable part of my brain tells me that’s not possible because they’re human. I have an extreme fear of bugs and whenever im near one I feel like I have some crawling on me. I blame this on anxiety attacks. I blame all of my issues on anxiety attacks, actually. Ive never told anyone my fears. My family believes i am a medium but they dont know my thoughts on it.

I also have other more triggering fears that scare me out of my wits that i blame on intrusive thoughts. I rather not share them openly as i dont want anyone to be triggered by them, but if people want to know I can share them in the comments. I can also share more about my past as I think some of the things couldve possibly been a cause to this, but they can be triggering and I don’t want to just throw them out there. I can put them in the comments if people are comfortable with it.

I had extreme deja vu while typing that last bit specifically, and ive always been told that deja vu is the sign you’re on the right path in life, so maybe this is good. Hopefully i can find guidance on here. If not, thank you anyway. Don’t be afraid to tell me the honest truth. I just want help, I’m not here to attention seek. I also hope everyone on here finds the help they need, cause I read a few posts before I built up the courage to write this. Sorry for typing so much.

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Hey, and welcome to the forum.

Some of the things you described sound like they could possibly be psychosis related, but none of us are mental health professionals and cannot diagnose you. Your best bet would be to possibly talk about your experiences with family/parents/someone you trust and see about making an appointment at a mental health clinic.

If you’re in the US theres some clinics that have a sliding scale, which means they determine what you pay based off of your family’s income. It could be a very little amount youd have to pay. Feel free to stick around the forum and read and ask questions if you want. Also I’m personally okay with you sharing your other experiences if you feel comfortable doing so. Wish you the best!

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Yes, @snadwich, you should definitely make an appointment with a psychiatrist. You could be psychotic and not be a “medium” at all, especially if you feel people are “reading your mind.” If you can, discuss your concerns with your parents or some other relative you trust.

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All im going to say is dont go searching for a dx, though you shouldnt run from one either.

See a psychiatrist. If you’re functioning in day to day life for the most part then who cares if you have this label or that one.

I hope you get yourself sorted out.

I once met a psych nurse who said some pretty weird sht. You remind me of her. Fairly normal.

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