Today I had a few issues and it kinda made me think. Am I trying to create a fantasy world for myself. I got to thinking about all the inputs I choose to allow into my life and they are all very positive and I like to think rational. For example I only watch cartoons that are uplifting and safe. Outside of books to gain knowledge I only read books from very compassionate and idealistic people.
This has been the case for a few years with only like one exception. What I’m thinking is I’ve isolated myself from the world and fought against the negative in my mind by trying to create a life full of ideas and people who would benefit my life in my current situation. I think I’ve lost touch with how real people behave and think. Not just individual people but maybe groups and society.
I’m not saying that the world is bad but I think my expectations about what the world is and should be have become extremely distorted…
thinking I might start watching shows like family guy again and maybe let in opinions and ideas that aren’t so wholesome… Whatever I need to do it’s not what I’m doing…
What you describe sounds a lot like how I go through my days.
Ever since psychosis, everything I consume has to go through a “morals check.”
It’s really exhausting sometimes, and I feel like I’m further alienating myself from real people— just like how you described.
I’ve since become less rigid, but the habit is still there.
Edit: For what it’s worth, I have OCD, and I think this behavior could possibly be related to that.
Also I think it’s part. Of why I’m so hard on myself when I see my own flaws
I mean creating a safety bubble for yourself is not bad to alleviate pressure and stress. But if you get used to your bubble it’s harder to deal with stress when it bursts through. In the end I think it’s more important to deal with current stress in a healthy way and try not to worry about future stress until it comes.
Yep… it’s too much. But I feel like if I don’t hold the world to those standards then I can’t invalidate the harm that I feel is being done to me(my delusions)
I also have OCD !!! It’s more about bad thoughts for me tho. I figured there would be someone else who could understand
I guess I do experience that. I get offended when other people violate my expectations and if it’s me violating sometimes I become very self deprecating… Maybe in the long run it will work it self out tho.
It’s near impossible to hold the world to those standards without affecting yourself and further distancing yourself from society, like you mentioned.
I just watch certain shows or stick to PBS— stuff that I know is non-violent, etc.
I dunno how to branch out to riskier content without that safety bubble popping.
Sidenote: When I mentioned OCD, the kind I have is called “Pure O,” and one of the ways it shows up is scrupulosity— or to place a lot of conviction in one’s morals.
I just wanna add that you can try to branch out but by bit— maybe watch a new show that’s not too far from your center, or a movie— just introduce something novel and see how you feel.
I’ve heard of pure - O but didn’t know it effected your morals/Moral reasoning… So pure OCD is all about thoughts and the compulsions being in the mind too?
It’s okay to be an idealist in a world where corruption and violence exists. You have to protect yourself to an extent. Its okay to protect your happiness and stress to be healthy. You don’t have to watch Family Guy if you don’t want to. There are much funnier shows to watch, anyway.
Yes, there’s different manifestations of Pure O, but sucrupulosity and in many cases the fear of blasphemy can show up as well.
Not the most well-read person on it, but yes, a lot of it exists in the mind— mental rituals with some physical output at times depending on the person.
Everyone lives in their own fictional world, but most people don’t understand this. No one knows the real world. Everyone calls their personal fantasies the Truth. What makes me different is that I know I live in a dream world. I like it, and I can’t stand to be interrupted in this. Fantasies are the only reality.
Yea I probably won’t watch family guy but I think I need to accept myself and people more. I do play violent video games but I just don’t feel like it’s violent…it’s funny because I don’t kill anything even bugs and I was a vegetarian for like a year but I need my video games lol
yuval harari talked about something like that in his book Sapiens. He said a lot of what are lives are are based in “Fictions” not just beliefs but agreements about arbitrary things. I guess those fictions are necessary for the functioning of society… at least that what I thought he meant.
i dont think theres anything wrong with filtering what goes into your mind. You wouldn’t drink from any river.
Yea Im fine with the filtering…im just afraid that being isolated and filtering might be changing my idea about the world. Then when I actually deal with people I don’t have realistic expectations about them or myself. I’m thinking I need more exposure to the real world so I’m not just living in that bubble
I didn’t use to be like this …