Yeah I just think it’s weird cuz you’re sober, on meds, and make sooo much sense when you’re not even in your native tongue (obviously proving your intelligence) it seems a lil strange to me you’d have such a heavy delusion. This illness is a bitch I guess. Maybe since I’m doing so well for the most part now especially with delusions I expect everyone else who stays on their meds to have no delusions, but I guess I’m somewhat wrong. This illness works in mysterious ways.
Yeah I still have that, but it’s fading with time. I look forward to that “I learned a lot with my delusions” mark in my life. Still trying to deal with them, it’s like they’re just intrusive thoughts now, leftovers from psychosis, they pop up on some moments, triggered by something that would set them off in the past.
I’m learning that this illness it requires a lot of patience! A lot! I wasn’t the most patient person, it’s a skill that I’m learning.
Paranoia it’s gone though, still had it when I joined the forum but now it’s mostly gone.
We are human. I had the delusion that I’m the Greek goddess Athena. I still struggle with it.
I feel that too. I try not to indulge in it if I can help it, but sometimes it is too strong.
You’re as good as anyone else, no one is better than you. You are human just like anybody else, you’re not perfect but you have real feelings just like anyone else, you have the same thoughts, wants, and desires. You are as human as anyone else, you just can’t see it. You need someone in your life to bring out your innate humanity. It’s in there.
You know why so-called “normal” people seem to be more human than you? Because they understand that treating other people badly is the way of the world. That’s what makes me different from everybody else too. I feel sorry for people, I have empathy for people. I feel bad when I hurt someones feelings because I know what that’s like.
That’s what made my friends in high school fit in better than me. They were decent guys but they had a mean streak that I could not match. I was not a saint when I was younger, I caused a little trouble, I treated a couple of other kids badly. But when I reached my twenties, I realized that I did not want to be a person who hurts other people. I did not like that part of me I’m changed it. Anyway, this is not about me. You are probably nice as anyone else and you might be a little mean at times, but you are probably alright.
I had ideas that i was an angel fallen and i was destined to bring war to heaven… And maybe i was. Edgar cayce claimed the war of the Apocalypse is internal and the seven seals are the seven chakraschakras. Now i appreciate donkey Kong
I feel this exactly and have felt this way my entire life, yes. The majority of my delusions revolved around me not being human.
I’ve crossed into that territory a time or two.
Was calling myself an alien when I was a kid. Never in a serious sense.
The born cult leader I was… I still await my people.
This gives me an idea for a thread. “How would respond to meeting an alien?”
I don’t know whether I am real or not.
I think you’re definitely real turtle.
She would know… She’s god.
Thank you, you hit a point that I think is true. I’ve worked with kids with Autism for many years and they have that. Being mean doesn’t make any sense to them. And the ones who are aware enough also feel alien. What you say makes sense, as usual, @77nick77. You’re very wise ️
I am probably getting too tired to be useful here any more but … one last try?
The feeling of questioning the reality of your own existence or as you described it [quote=“Hedgehog, post:1, topic:36571”]
feeling like I was on the outside looking in
[/quote]
is the hallmark of dissociation. I have suffered from that for my entire life. Just knowing that the sensation itself has a name helped me. I hope it helps you
Hang on! One more tidbit. I have autism - I feel like I am an alien in this world. If you ever want someone to talk to specifically about that, feel free to PM me.
I thought I was a boy and felt I did not belong with “the girls”, even though, technically, I should have.
You’re real turtle.
In high school I wasn’t sure if I was really male or female(my body is female). If someone referred to me as “she” or “her” I was surprised by it and had the conscious thought, “Oh, they see that I’m a girl, so I must be a girl.” I don’t relate to human, and I don’t relate to male/female. I still don’t, but I understand what is perceived by others and accept the majority perception as truth because to do otherwise is pointless.
I think my confusion came directly from the fact that my parents were so sure I’d be a boy before I was born and the fact that I was not caused them self doubt that they didn’t want to deal with. So they did not want to confirm that I was a girl. Technically, they did, but I didn’t believe it much.
My mother really wanted a girl, not a boy. I got dressed up like a girl quite a lot. There is photographic evidence aplenty to prove it. If it weren’t for the fact that I interpret things literally first and foremost, I’d probably have a gender identity crisis too. Instead I have a plethora of other issues
Thank you When I finally wanted to get to the bottom of what’s wrong with me I found a website for people with Autism. I think it’s called Wrong Planet, and that spoke to me. I went to a psychologist and took tests to see if I have Aspergers (ASD), but I didn’t see it through… Seeking a correct diagnosis was difficult. Two doctors told me that they didn’t want to put sz on my chart, even though that’s what they believed I have, and they encouraged me to do my own research (gee, thanks)They said that I have “enough diagnosis”. Finally a doctor diagnosed me properly. Schizophrenia is treated like a dirty word even in doctor’s offices. I see it as a cousin to Autism. I appreciate your response, @Polymorphed.
I think because I was sexually molested when I was seven that I didn’t want to be sexualized either way. But it’s deeply visceral and no amount of therapy will connect me to this body. It will, for many reasons now, always feel foreign.