I felt like I got schizophrenia from a bad soul contract and past life crap (like bad karma from mental illness). I don’t know what to believe sometimes. Are we alone? Or is everything fake? For people that know me on here, I’ve even entertained the idea I’m a clone/drone. I don’t know. Chip-head? lol. A drone is a parasited human host. No aliens, just dinosaurs down below rofl.
Nobody deserves this. Buddhism seems appealing sometimes like non-existence, nirvana, or ‘estinguish-ment’ or w/e it’s called. Sort of like not existing or being born ever.
Even had thoughts I was a ‘super solider’ and mk-ultra-monarch victim. No peace sometimes. Universe seems to ‘come back’ or ‘bounce back’ or ‘repeat itself’ in a self-similar manner for eternity. Sort of like simulation theory and time travel and the whole 9 yards and crap. I cannot remember my life since 2011 like I just woke up or gained sentience that year. Was it a microchip + electronics (signal)? I felt like my mind came from the satellite or radio towers like my soul/consciousness + outer space. Michio Kaku talks about this. It’s 100+ year technology.
Looking at pictures of my youth, I know logically it’s someone else and not me. Could be DID/MPD but I don’t know. Could be an illusion of sorts.
Maybe those aliens weren’t real and it’s all smoke and magic and mirrors lol. Like maybe Donald Marshall was right…that they’re just earth robots or machines made in a laboratory done by experiments to ■■■■ with people. Scary right? Evil Illuminati people doing it to me and others.
Maybe aliens don’t exist and if they do they follow the ‘non-interaction/interaction’ principle from Star Trek or something…
Then who runs the simulation? Our descendants or future humans? I don’t know. I feel pretty ‘lucid’ right now and never made such progress before in my years with such clarity.
If ‘past lives’ don’t exist or are not real then I’m pretty messed up or ■■■■■■■ up’ like severe insanity or just reverse entropy or eternal recurrence lol.
The whole Christian thing is a fear-based cult thing in my situation. Just my interpretation and experience and not my family’s experience. I’m still pro-capitalism and Libertarian/Republican and love my country very much.
I think I just pissed off the wrong people and still think I had my mind messed with or was a clone and I invented bitcoin, which feels like a distant past life or another reality altogether, and doesn’t feel real, but maybe it is???
So basically it all boils down to extreme trauma, mind control, and psychosis from mk-ultra monarch pretty much according to Occam’s Razor and simplifying things lol. Nothing beyond a little ‘hand-waving’, ‘smoke and mirrors’, and technology. No need for spiritualism or satanism. Just a bunch of frauds.
I still believe in God.
Maybe the whole “I’m a time traveler or alien” isn’t real and it’s just animal dna like I’m a human-animal hybrid or some genetic creature born and created down in a lab like a test tube. That’s getting pretty crazy and far-out there. Damn, Donald Marshall is pretty smart guy.
Mars wasn’t even real.
I know I sound like I made a 180 in my recovery and am singing a different tune, but it feels more logical, clean, simple, and Occam’s razor type stuff. I went missing in college for some time…not much. Mom originally thought 1 day but then recalled 3 days but doesn’t know. I think my mom and family could be clones or chip-heads too…I remember some stuff happening but then it’s all gone and just a ‘blur’.
Those ‘alien ufos’ I’ve been seeing are just human terrestrial craft. No magic or alien ■■■■.
This post might be triggering to some. Feel free to flag or delete it if it bothers you. I feel like I’m making progress off the drinks.