Schizophrenia.com

Am I experiencing late onset schizophrenia


#1

I have not sought professional help yet. My cognitive abilities have not diminished. I did have undiagnosed cervical cancer the year this began, but that is gone now and I am still experiencing odd things.

It started when I was 59. I had a false memory about this little girl and her mom from a few years back regarding something I am only aware of when I have an episode.

I will be reading something, then all of a sudden I am reading something from this memory and it makes complete sense although totally unimportant. I know at the time I am having this hallucination yet it feels so real. In the beginning though I am always sure, that this is where the idea came from originally but of course it’s not real.

There seems to be three or four different scenarios. I have seen one I call the rally call in both books and on TV. When the ones on TV happen, I am aware it’s that rally call hallucination. I watch the actors mouths as they speak and their mouths form the words they are saying. I always catch these and will rewind the show to see the actors said something completely different. The story lines always fit right into the rally call hallucination.

I once was recording something and caught myself saying this rally call. I stopped, rewinded and I had said what I meant to say, not the rally call.

Yesterday I was typing something. I had bolded two words and had put an “a” where it didn’t belong. As I reread what I wrote, it was the thought behind the deja vu of the false memory with the mother and child. It made so much sense. There were no bolded words, but that a was still in the wrong place. I realized it was a hallucination and was afraid to look away. But I did and of course it went back to the words I had written.

While this happens to me a few times a month, after it’s over I can never remember the full context of it. Twice immediately after it happened, I tried to tell someone about it and while I opened my mouth, I could not force myself to speak it.

Three times in the past 3 years, I have seen or experienced something that I was so sure was the original idea behind one of these hallucinated ideas and realized half way trying to explain it that it was not real.

There is no history of schizophrenia in my family, but oddly about 20 years ago I researched schizophrenia to write a novel about a girl going through it.

I have no other symptoms of schizophrenia that I can see. I still work, I am not delusional, I don’t see things other that I described and these hallucinations do not come across as anything but an idea that has no importance in my life or any others. The most common is about techniques on how to remember things. Not that it helped. But it’s what I think about when it’s happening.

Has anyone here ever had these types of events happen. I’ve read a few on this site, but they were never really followed through with. I just need help understanding what is happening to me and if I need to seek professional help.


#2

The fact you know it’s not real when it’s happening is a good sign. Definitely seek professional help, but I wouldn’t worry about late onset sz at this point.


#3

If not sz, then what? With the cancer I had so many MRIs and catscans, no tumors in the head, no other diseases, no other symptoms, just hallucinations. I’ve been cancer free for two years. I don’t take any drugs stronger than Advil. I did do my share of lsd in the 1970’s, but never had flashbacks. I am a lucid dreamer and have very creative dreams. At first I thought these waking episodes were memories of dreams I had. Now I’m getting worried they are not my imagination but some serious issue. As I’m heading into old age, I am worried my children will classify this as dementia.

I have a distrust of phsychologists, also from the 1970s, so finding this forum feels like a godsend. I’d appreciate any suggestions or theories or even far fetched ideas. Thanks.


#4

Please consult the medical professionals, e.g., psychiatrist and neurologist. Consulting strangers on the internet is really not helpful.


#5