Am I a bad person?

I don’t know if its the SZ that made me sadistic because I wasn’t before it.

Sometimes I enjoy watching mentally ill people worse than me like schizophrenics with cognitive symptoms or catatonia. It gives me confidence because I see myself better than them.

When I feel hopeless and suicidal I watch these videos and they make me feel better about myself and give me a positive view in life. I tell myself there are ppl worse than me living in this world.
Is that wrong? Am I a bad person?

Like this schizophrenic patient with significant cognitive symptoms that says he’s been 900 years in the hospital and says he has 4 feet:

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I wasn’t like that before my SZ.

I don’t think so, maybe you have a comorbid personality disorder?

When I feel hopeless and suicidal I watch these videos and they make me feel better about myself and give me a positive view in life. I tell myself there are ppl worse than me living in this world.

Well yeah this is kind of normal thinking I guess

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No my psychiatrist said I only have SZ with negative symptoms. That’s what he wrote on my diagnosis.

No, that kind of thinking is not really sadistic.
Yeah listen to your doctor.

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When I think of people who are worse off than me it doesn’t build me up or make me feel superior or better than them.
I’m no saint but knowing that other people are suffering, starving, or being tortured and killed daily around the world, or who are suffering more with their schizophrenia than me might make me more grateful or thankful for what I’ve got but other peoples misery doesn’t make me happy, unless it’s some individual as*hole who is affecting my life negatively. I don’t get my kicks from other peoples unhappiness.

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I only watch these when I am suicidal and hopeless. I don’t find it funny and it doesn’t make me happier. It just makes me feel better about myself.

Superior? Or further along in your recovery?

Not superior, we are all going to end up in the same place when we die, it just makes me feel better about myself when I am suicidal and hopeless.

I do this too, but not with thinking of people with severe sz cos it makes me think of ooh I could maybe get that one day and that really scares me and so my mind gets unsettled. Instead I just think of it like, I have a clear mind today, it is empty with no noises, I have no psychosis today.

I also think of other things like my living situation and compare it to others around the world to give me comfort

I don’t over think it and think oh but should I not feel bad for that person who lives in those living situations

I hope this doesn’t make me a bad person, I don’t think so

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I am not a psychopath. I know what a psychpath is. I left a friend because he was like that. He sleeps with multiple girls everynight, sometimes 2 or 3 at the same time. He gets more than 10 girls’s numbers everytime we clubbed. He tells me he plays the serious guy with them together and then leaves them. He seduces married woomen and make them breakup, its his hobby. He uses lots of different drugs like cocaine. I left him because he made love with a girl that was close to me and that I liked. His cousin is in prison. I know I am not like him and can’t stand him. I deleted and blocked him everywhere.

AT least you have reason behind your thought

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I learned to stay away from psychopaths because we are mentally ill and these people can take advantage of us more easily.

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