Always lonely. never enough time

my trazadone knocks me out and if I don’t set an alarm I don’t get up until like 3 pm every day…when Angie gets up every day to go to work that means I get up when she is walking out the door…on weekends she wants to be left alone…so I listen to music or play my instruments. I’m always lonely? I love Angie and I respect her and want to take care of her but she is nada on emotional intimacy…I blame her tough life she’s had before she met me…I think I might of said it before but Angie was gang raped at the age of 13 and impregnated by the time it was over with…her mother said when Angie found out seven months later that she was pregnant, that if she kept the baby she would kick her out and Angie kept the baby so she and the baby were sent to foster homes…later when she was 18 she met an abusive man that would push her down a flight of stairs and sometimes hit her. she has a scar where the man hit her on her lip. anyways, she had to shoot him in self defense when he started to strangle her. the public defense attorney dropped the ball and Angie did ten years in federal prison…she has many stories about her time she did…she had to go to solitary prison many times for fighting with the other inmates…they left her alone…she was just protecting herself. anyways, I love her…I can’t imagine life without her…it’s just that we get so very little time together.

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It’s hard in this modern world. We all tend to isolate when we are at home and do things like stay on computers. I can understand where you are coming from. In some societies food is always a thing for family and gettting together. It might not be so much about how much time you can have together but a matter of prioritising the time you do have! All relationships are give and take…might pay to have a simple conversation outlining your fears and worries.

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