Almost sank

I was reading a poem on DU poetry and I almost sank.

and I wanted to PM the poet-

yes, that’s where I read all poems.

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and I wanted to PM the poet, because I sank.

I was sinking, almost drowning.

some men are good at swimming, but I’m a drowner. I’m a rock.

If you throw me, I won’t even hop on the water’s surface.

so when I read the poem, I wanted to PM the poet because I was drowning.

I didn’t PM though.

some wolves are good at swimming, but I’m a drowner. I’m a rock.

If you throw me, I won’t even hop on the water’s surface.

I had a boat.

lost it, because of a PM.

I had a great boat, and the sails were silver.

the hulk was gold.

and I lost the boat because of a PM.

I lost my boat in the middle of an ocean, and I began to sink.

some men are good at swimming, but I’m a drowner. I’m a rock.

If you throw me, I won’t even hop on the water’s surface.

no, no I won’t.

I wish I had that boat.

I lost my boat because of a PM.

I’m happy that most of my life is on the internet because I don’t think I would be alive if I had made real-life mistakes.

because some men are good at swimming, but I’m a drowner. I’m a rock.

If you throw me, I won’t even hop on the water’s surface.

so I read a poem today and I wanted to PM the poet, but I didn’t because I was drowning. and when I chose not to, I stopped sinking.

and I- and I was proud of my decision. because I had lost a boat because of a PM.

who knows what I would’ve lost next…

Were you in the bath

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who do I want?

sometimes I have this feeling that I want a special communication
not with a man.

maybe because my own indulgence in romance
has made me so.

and so, by writing and reading romance;
I might be feeding a harmful falsehood
within my mind.

what would happen, if I stopped writing?

I don’t know,
at least not now.

I had stopped before,
And I still had temptations.
I still watched videos
Like wine.

It’s not just my poetry
that triggers my intimate thoughts.

It can be a person
or a word
like “spouse” or “bed.”

society emphasizes romance and makes it prominent.
maybe I’m wrong?
but then why are gays sometimes mistreated.
or why do books emphasize "being fruitful and multiplying"
or why is wealth seen as “I have this many persons.”

that last phrase is seen in the book I read.
do I dare stop reading it?