Everything is stored in my brain. Its difficult to cope, all the psychotic episodes, i memorise them. What does it all mean ? Are there repetitive thread in my mind.
La Paloma oh’e
Someday its all over.
So, don’t cry for me my darling
I will be back home soon.
Lalala 
It means you finding meaning of existence, dont do it, enjoy life as it is,
There is nothing else as “just be”. Someday i won’t excits anymore. Its the big question of " to be" or “not to be”. I be. I talk to my dead body.
I can get you, its so tough, hey you talking to me now 
I found the marshmallow trail. It might lead to salvation.
Hope its this marshmellow
Yes its kind of this. I can’t find the next marshmallow. Maybe this is the end of trail. Maybe i just have to wait it out, again 
. The next marshmallow is out of reach.
Me to thinking of getting a dog but my father says its another expense, so he means i am expense to him, and i dont give a ants as, i live as i like…
But in mean while enjoying the current time than thinking of tomorrow which may not exits.
Well, sometimes you have to cover the cost of a friend.
The cost was very heavy, even to let go of my dog Appu,
Had to spend 2k which i did not have and i was next to him , doc did mention if i need to be outside, i said its ok, i saw him take the last breath…
I also drew a picture of him,
Sorry to hear about your loss, but maybe you tell your dad that a dog is very helpful in your recovery. I found myself a dog is helpful. I don’t know how long a dog is going to live , but its very likely you going to outlive your next dog. My apartment is to small, i would love to have a german shephard or something similar in that size. But i have to cancel the idea.
You could try for a Pomeranian breed, my dog was indian spitz Pomeranian.
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