I was diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar little while ago which was something I had suspected since around the time I was last hospitalized. It seems to have gotten more intense as I’ve gotten older, but looking back I think I can see signs even from childhood. Two years ago I ended up having a wellness check and went inpatient even though I wasn’t feeling depressed at all. I just felt completely devoid of myself and while a lot of that time is a haze for me, I know I was sleeping a lot but confused when people said I looked miserable. Other stuff happened later on and I was put on risperdal which worked great until psychosis came back this year and hasn’t seemed to go away as easily as it used to. In fact, it’s incredibly terrifying when I’m experiencing it because I see shadow people, distorted things, hear mumbling or talking everywhere, feeling like I’m being watched, hallucinating someone watching me outside my window at night, and random sensory experiences that scare the hell out of me.
I don’t remember being like this so much, at least not to this degree or for so long. I can’t go off of my antipsychotic now because I know for a fact that I feel so, so much worse without it eventually. I think seeing some shadowy figure standing outside watching me through the window has done me in as far as being med-reluctant. I wanted to cry. It was like living my own horror show.
I’m still learning more about SZ and SZA though I guess the treatment isn’t all that different from the type 1 bipolar I was previously diagnosed with.
Welcome to the forum @annadonna94 .
Yes, once I was diagnosed, I could look back and see that things weren’t right even though at the time I had no insight.
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Welcome to The Forum @annadonna94 . I hope you find some peace of mind here
Welcome, the forums helps a lot don’t be afraid to start threads, hope some of us inspire you and you never lose hope
Welcome to the forum, @annadonna94 ! Hope you’ll find good support here.
Yes, I have been able to go back and trace symptoms to when I was a little girl. (I am also SZA, bipolar type).
Hi @annadonna94 ! Welcome!
welcome to the forum @annadonna94
Welcome to the forums @annadonna94
Like they say hindsight is 20.20
When I first started having mental health problems I didn’t even recognize them as mental health problems because I was completely uninformed about the subject, but looking back, yeah, I could spot the warning signs now.
I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia back in 2004, but I’ve had 3 other diagnosis since then from different psychiatrists. Psychiatry is a bit of a guessing game because there is no blood/DNA test or brain scan than can definitively say what you have, its based on what you tell the psychiatrist, and then (s)he comes up with a diagnosis based on their knowledge and experience. In my case the majority opinion has been schizophrenia so I just go with that, but I don’t obsess over the label they use to describe me anymore, I’m just glad the meds work.
I have sza bipolar type as well. My breakdown happened when I was 18 but I saw problems starting since I was 13. I had severe panic attacks and started hearing voices a bit, and becoming delusional at 15. Mood swings started at 16. Everything was so intense. I’m 37 now.
Welcome to the group!
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