Afraid to go to the hospital because of possible HIV exposure

I’m having a really big dilemma.

A couple days ago I was worried I came into contact with HIV. I talked to my doctor’s office and was told that there was no risk of HIV for what happened. However, I have a fear that if I go to the emergency room they may say something different. They may say that there was a risk. I’ve tried calling several hospital emergency rooms but they all say “they don’t give medical advice over the phone.” So I would have to personally go to one.

However, I am very afraid of going to emergency rooms. I’ve gone to emergency rooms for foolish reasons before and they sent me to the mental hospital, and I really don’t like the mental hospital. For instance, one time I thought my bladder had exploded and when I came there they saw that my bladder was fine so they sent me to the mental hospital.

Right now I have several voices in my head telling me to go to the emergency room. They say I have one more day to do it before the HIV is permanent. They also say that I will “definitely go to the mental hospital” if I go. They also say that going to the hospital is the only way I’ll get treatment in time (they are talking about PEP).

So I don’t know what to do. Should I just try to trust my doctor’s office and not go? Or should I go and risk being put in the mental hospital for god knows how long?

I really don’t know what to do, so any input would be helpful.

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If you’re worried, can you just get an hiv test? You dont need to go to the ER for that.

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i had tuberculosis before …!!!

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What I’m worried about is PEP. I still have time to do post exposure prophylaxis. My doctor’s office said they wouldn’t do it because there was no risk.

For some strange reason I think that if I go to the ER they might do it. However my voices say “they won’t do it and I’ll definitely go to the mental hospital.” So I’m stumped. I want to go and find out if they’ll do it, but I’m really afraid they’ll just think I’m crazy and send me to the mental hospital.

Considering emergency rooms are constantly sterilized, you would actually have a higher chance of contracting HIV out in public than in a hospital.

And your chances of contracting HIV in public are already reaaally low unless you’re using random syringes off the streets or sleeping with someone infected.

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Is there a reason you disagree with your doctor’s conclusion?

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For some reason I really believe I have it even though everyone I’ve talked to says it’s impossible. I feel like I can see it inside my body multiplying. I’m not sure if I’m imagining things or if it’s real. I can see the virus inside my head entering cells and multiplying and it’s making me scared.

Hopefully it’s just my Schizophrenia acting up. But I’ve thought I had HIV before and never saw anything inside my head. It feels like I have x-ray vision and I can see the virus inside my body.

If you had HIV, you would not be able to see or sense any of those things. Listening to you describe it, I can understand why doctors have felt you need to be hospitalized - this sounds like psychosis, not HIV, and it’s clearly causing you a lot of distress.

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I guess all i could recommend is that you think back through whatever incident you think may have exposed you to hiv and try and objectively assess whether that incident could really have resulted in an exposure.

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Yes, my dad told me I couldn’t see the virus inside myself either. Hopefully I’m just imagining things.

Your dad’s right. This is your mind running away with you.

@Moonbeam has good advice for you - think realistically and objectively about what happened, consider the opinions of the medical professionals you’ve spoken to and the people you trust, and get an HIV test if that will help set your mind at ease. But the evidence you’ve presented isn’t physically possible - it’s a manifestation of fear, not infection.

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Hey SnowTiger, do you frequently worry that you might have a physical ailment? In a previous post you mentioned you were worried you might have ALS. I’m wondering if maybe you have some OCD issues going on in addition to the sz? Have you let your pdoc know how you’re feeling?

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I know what you mean about getting sent to the “mental” Hospital after going to to the ER.

This has happened to me a couple of times.

Try to avoid the Emergency Room or they will send you to the Psych Hospital again.

Maybe get an HIV test in your Doctors office.

Good luck

when psychotic I suffer from the very same delusions that you are describing here. Its always a rare illness that I have no reason to believe that I have but my mind makes it seem so real. Don’t go to the hospital, they will send you right to the psych ward again. Tell your psychiatrist and see what they say. you don’t have HIV. its a false belief. Take the meds they give you and you will be able to avoid a hospital stay. Unless you feel like you are at risk or in danger don’t go to the hospital

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Yes. I once thought I had HIV for two years until I finally got up the courage to get tested. I found out that I was wrong and I was perfectly fine. When I was 17 I also thought that I had ALS until I went to a specialist and he said my muscles were too strong for me to have ALS. Then my symptoms went away when he told me I was fine.

I haven’t talked too much with my pdoc about this. I have talked to him about thinking about having OCD because I wash my hands obsessively. I wash my hands sometimes like 30 times a day. I think he prescribed me prozac when I told him I thought I had OCD. But I stopped taking it because I didn’t feel like it was doing anything.

I thought I was pregnant for 5 months. Even though that was impossible. I got tested in the ER, it came back negative and I didn’t believe them. My tummy got bigger and everything. I even named the baby. Your brain can play some big tricks on you sometimes. I doubt you have HIV. Your Dr. is likely telling you the truth.

Yeah, that sounds like OCD. I’d discuss it with your pdoc and let them know the prozac wasnt helping. Your pdoc should be able to come up with another med for you to try. Also, therapy can help with this too.

I take Zoloft for MDD and GAD. I also have mild OCD and the Zoloft seems to help with that as well.

In my experience, the voices don’t give good advise.

Jayster