Afraid of father

I am a bit afraid of my father.

Today I told him I might quit work in the next two months.

He just said

“that’s nice”

And he looked at my life situation with the consequences of my illness and the agony I’m going through and said

“I’m jealous of you.”

With a grin on his face.

I’m a bit disturbed by this. It makes me sick to the stomach that he thinks my suffering is nice and that he is jealous of me.

What kind of man says that to me?

It makes me want to throw up.

Am I being dramatic?

I’m always traumatized by my father. I want to tell my mother, but what good is that?


I don’t think he meant anything about it. It sounds like he was trying to be nice.

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I feel like he is gaslighting me to insanity


Nah gaslighting would be if he said something like “that’s just great.”

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What’s the difference though?


I’m a bit paranoid of him enjoying seeing me in pain.


One is a put down the other is not.

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It depends on hooooow something is said.

But I don’t think it sounds nice by your description.

My father can say hurtful things too.
I decided to love my parents unconditionally and to keep the peace not mention it when they have a nasty comment (if I can) just pretend like I didn’t hear it if I can to keep the peace.

But I’m not close with my parents and one reason is nasty things that have been said.

I would have loved them more if they were not said .

Some people are able to break contact with their parents or stand up to them .

I have stood up to my parents but often choose not to to keep the peace.

My mum yelled at me last year for wearing to much makeup and I said it’s none of her business and we have different taste and she yelled I’m not leaving the apartment looking like that and I said yes I am then my former stepmother complimented me on my makeup and said she loved how I had done my makeup.

Ha ha ha ha ha so there.

I think the way your father talks to you is wrong buuuuut can you stand up to him?
Confront him?

Will he go furious?

Is it better to just keep the peace but be upset about it rightfully yet not tell him so you don’t fight.

I think his behaviour sounds bad but sometimes I feel it’s not worth bringing it up because that would bring on a fight of worse.


I like the make up story! Made me smile.

When I speak my opinion he gets emotional and yell and perceives it as fighting, but really it’s just him.

I try to keep peace with him by not speaking to him. I told him today to stop it when he started talking.

I get flashbacks of his words and brings me into a dark rabbit hole.

He makes me feel hopeless and think that I need to goto hospital because I get crazy thoughts, and I hate that


Can you distance yourself from him in a peaceful way?

Just see less of him.

Maybe he will appreciate you more and be nicer to you then.

Good to be silent if that’s how he reacts I think anyway that’s what I try to do anyway.

Wishing you well Abise.

Hope you will feel happier about your life and make some changes to help you feel better.


My Dad has been dead nearly 20 years, Just about now I realize how much he loved me.

His behavior toward me didn’t feel like love, even though it was love.

For my part, I see sometimes I scared people when I was only trying to be helpful.


I think a lot of fathers are difficult. Mine was. Fear and ignorance played a part.


I think you are totally right. The way he reacted was really cold and inappropriate. An approprirate reaction would show concern for you or reassurance that your health comes first. Instead he welcomed you giving up work due to poor health. Thats really rude.

It sounds like he is like my Dad and doesnt really understand the illness. Thinks its being lazy and not trying hard enough.

I would try and find a way to distance yourself as others said. He doesnt sound supportive or understanding.


The best thing is to dismiss those kinds of comments.


Yeah… the way he said it was so cold and un human like really. That’s why I’m afraid of him, like I saw a monster.

I started to think he wasn’t real… what ever that means for a moment


I want to, but it plays and plays over and and over in my mind…

He would say something, sometimes it seems like he is messing with my mind

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I’m feeling better now… thank you

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My brother can be the same way towards me.
Cold and hurtful.

I really think he hates me.

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My parents are dead, thank goodness, may they RIP.

But I have issues with my sister. My sister can’t hold a conversation about anything or with anyone without turning it into a big argument about either politics or religion. Especially religion. And especially with me. And that’s why we rarely talk or get together even though we both live in the same town.

I think my sister really hates me too.

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