I started driving again. Yay for me right. Lol. It’s been okay. I’m doing pretty well. I find I am very tired after driving though because I’m trying harder to pay attention and concentrate on what’s going on all around me where usually I get lost in thought.
Yesterday I missed a turn. Really not a big deal I just pulled over and turned around but the husband was like “you seriously missed that turn when we were just here yesterday!?” And then to add to making me feel like an invalid he said “maybe you SHOULDNT be driving if you can’t remember directions!”
Well…I’ve been saying I shouldn’t drive for years you jerk. But now that I am I think I’m doing really well. I don’t think it’s helpful to make me feel like I’m doing badly simply because I missed a turn. It’s not like I forgot you can’t drive through red lights or something.
But I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say. He doesn’t understand that my brain works differently than his. When he is driving he focuses on just driving. I am trying to push aside voices and have bad memory loss and fatigue easily when focusing on things for a long time. I don’t know how to help him understand that.
Does anyone in here experience this while driving. Do you have any words I can give to him? I would really appreciate it ️
I feel your pain. Luckily he cares enough to be concerned. Unfortunately our loved ones seem to be the last to accept that we’re growing and changing. They might scorecard, and in all honesty, are just worried. If he loves you, you’ll find a compromise but speak your feelings and let him think on it. Changing things have to be evident in actions. Continue to appear and be preferably stable if possible. Things should change. If not this needs to be revisited in a few days. Think about his perspective because no amount of words can take away that stinging stigma normies have about us.Have a great day, and remember change isn’t overnight.
I did the same as you just the other day, was driving along then seen a sign for a street that was past where I needed to turn, I had passed the street I wanted.
It did concern me, how could I miss my turn? What concerned me is why I zoned out. Was kinda of a wake up call for me to try to pay more attention. It bothered me more that I zoned out than missing my turn.
I have a perfect driving record and haul some pretty big loads with my truck and trailer.
I understand where you are coming from though, sadly I don’t have any advice for your husband, anyone can miss a turn, I have done it on routes I travel everyday.
I can relate a LOT
My husband has epilepsy and unsafe for him to drive so I was forced to learn even tho i hate driving.
When we drive together he often gets irritated at me saying I must go faster or so on and it stresses me out even more
But he does understand I have an illness too and get anxiety
Thank you everyone. I think it will just take time for us to be comfortable with each other when doing new things. He will never understand me completely and I have to accept that. I’m doing my very best and trying really hard at everything I do so I think the hardest part is hearing criticism for all the mistakes but not anything positive about how I’m doing well.
Thank you. I am happy I’m driving now. I am also working more and pushing myself to do new things that I was anxious about before. Like using a chop saw. Which is fun too.
Now that its been a while from the incident. You’ve taken a step back and verbalized to us the problems. Maybe talk to him and read him what you and we all posted here.
Congratulations on driving!!! It’s hard. Before I was on Meds and still hearing voices and seeing things I kept failing the driving test and just could not drive it was too distracting. I’m impressed that you can drive even with those distractions. Maybe you should get a gps for your car? I have two plus the gps on my phone. If you have a gps if you miss a turn it will just recalculate the route so problem solved. I have a voice activated gps in my car. 2 actually in case one breaks. It has a feature where if I already make it to my destination and drive past it then I can tell the Garmin to go to locations that are “recently found” and tell it the number corresponding to the address I want to go and reprogram it without even pulling over. I don’t have any advice for your husband other than to ask him for a voice activated gps. It costs about $300 but it’s worth it!
The American Academy of Neurology has developed guidelines on this which are available online. Anyone with dementia is at higher risk of being in an accident then those without dementia (though I realize that dementia is substantially different from psychosis, despite both diseases involving memory deficits). If someone can pass a road driving test, then they are more likely to be safe driving. Most people and those who care about them underestimate the danger.
Like any activity, keep practicing. As you drive more, you will get more comfortable. Practice every weekend on Saturday mornings and Sunday mornings after sunrise, but get home before many other people get on the road.
I’ve just returned to driving a year after my latest accident
Schizophrenia gives a lot of people problems with cognitive function hence driving problems
i am a rubbish driver
i will limit to about 3/4 of an hour max per day
and never drive any long distance or fast roads
i just lose concentration
i speak or talk - distracted
i go into a daze - distracted
it’s awful but i could really do a lot of damage if i just get unlucky
You don’t frequently complain about your husband being disrespectful to you. Am I correct in thinking this reaction is unusual for him? If so, he might be just as terrified as you, and reacting poorly as a response. I have been teaching a friend to drive, and being in the car with her is an exercise in controlling my desire to scream every few minutes. I am hyper-focused on all mistakes she makes, and I’ve had to train myself to stay calm and be constructive when giving advice. If this is your first time driving in years, he might be doing the same thing. He might just need a reminder that constructive criticism is gently and focused on how to improve, not what you did wrong.
If he has a frequent tendency to be rude to you even outside of driving, maybe he needs an attitude adjustment. If that’s the case, maybe couple’s counseling could help.
You’re right. He is a pretty wonderful husband and he doesn’t often do things that hurt me. I would say he’s a little more critical than i would like him to be but I cannot change that and I’ll take the bad with the good because he has a lot of amazing qualities. I think it is just hard for him to understand where I am coming from because unless you’ve experienced it you just don’t know. He is the one who pushed me to drive and he mostly sits back and let’s me do my thing unless he’s giving pointers. I appreciate that. The lashing out at me really sticks though and I can’t shake the things he says. It’s like every negative thing he says is an echo in my head. I just hear it go on and on and on and I feel myself shut down a little. And then I can’t speak to him about it because I’m so “in it” if that makes sense.
I also have limited my driving to short bouts. The longest I’ve done is a 30 min drive-shop for groceries-30 mins home and that felt like a lot for my head. I could feel myself slowing down a lot cognitively and I’m pretty sure I even napped when I got home.
Me. I want to stop driving personally. I find it hard to live a life trying to go to the store and church to work without a car. In my family it’s encouraged to be a independent driver. There’s better drivers than me in my family and they rely on me more because they don’t have cars or expired something. I uphold all of my driving requirements. I want to stop driving not because I’m a bad driver which I’m not. After I got my license officially I’ve had one accident of someone rear ending me. It’s the fact that I lack focus and concentration but after changing my meds I feel a lot better now.
My advice I want to stop driving and not because I have symptoms -or+. I eat right. Diet and exercise. Try to eat balanced meals and always keep fruit and vitamins in the house. I try to avoid worst case scenarios. For example if I work a double and get off 8am I sleep in the car for a bit before driving. Maybe he’s right. But put more chips in your favor.
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