I like calm. My mind for some reason is not made to function like others. Haven’t been around many people since I was 10 y/o, I think this is to blame mainly.
But im curious if anyone on here has this problem too?
On days where Ive not much going on at home, I would like to grab my bike and check out downtown. Maybe talk to a few people as id likely run into some old psych ward acquaintances (one of the many benefits to a dozen stays in 2 years…!). Something. But i sit at home or pace around instead. Lame!
Lack of motivation is a symptom of the disease. So it could be difficult to do the things you’ve described. I suffer from it too.
But some days are better than others.
Dude I’m totally consumed in an actively idle lifestyle. Like I’m actively just sitting around writing poetry listening to music and pacing. Idk I can’t get myself to commit to an every day structure so I just kinda isolate and pass the time
A word that comes to mind why I’m so idle is that I am “sensitive” some days more than others but I can’t risk putting myself out there daily in fear of my bad days.
I get what you said about sensitivity. On good days i dont hand out resumes or talk to a volunteer coordinator because I know a) theyll think im dumb and crazy or b) i wont be able to follow through on bad days.
Sz is mean.
I’m totally addicted to being idle. I just like to isolate and self medicate, it’s all I want to do. That’s why I’m in IOP
I think there’s a difference between solitude and idness. Solitude is good, idleness is bad. If you’re just staying alone a lot nothing wrong with that, but I think keeping busy even when at home is important
Yeah I’ve suffered from a lot of isolaiton and just doing things to pass the time in my apartment. Couldn’t figure out how to be with people and because of the delusions I’ve had. I feel like a dumb wreck all the time, I think I’m a bit manic on the inside from it all. Just suffering in my head all the time.
Absolutely so, i feel my sanity has been worsening due to my constant state of staring at a wall/pacing. Sure, im thinking of stuff, but its all confused thinking.
I may not get alot done but I’m not sleeping 24/7 like I used to.
Are you interested in philosophy?
I like to be alone most of the time. Too much stimulation wigs me out. It’s hard to be at work with all the noise and people walking around. I keep hoping it gets easier but it doesnt.
On the other hand I don’t like to be bored. It seems like I wrestle with idleness and boredom all the time.
I deal with mild social anxiety which is helped by my medicine. Social connections are invaluable however so I gotta push myself to reach out to others sometimes.
I hate idleness. If I had a really busy day and didn’t sit around much, I feel more accomplished. If I spent more than say 1 hour doing nothing, I end up feeling ashamed of myself.
I tend to have days of idleness but I think it’s more related to lack of motivation and avolition
I can relate to your situation. I sit idle most days, listening to the internals. I have many things to keep me busy, but I have a hard time getting motivated and to stay motivated.
I feel for ya. Too much stimulation makes me uneasy or anxious.
I spend most of my days staying inside my apartment and listening to my radio, and taking care of my cat.
I sometimes wear earplugs at restaurants or the movie theatre.
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