Access to deep, obscure memories (BY VOICES)

I wanted to talk about how voices often can access super obscure memories that you would never, ever remember consciously even if you weren’t hearing voices. My theory is some voices must have some sort of special access to the memory parts of your brain, or the subconscious, etc. When the voices tell the person of this memory, naturally they seem very familiar so they are TRUE memories (not fake ones made up by the voice).

Tonight, my voice used deep, dark parts of my memory to access something I physically saw while standing watching a college math grade sheet in 1997. It was the percentage grade of a person I was familiar with at the time. When he told me, I felt yes, that seems familiar.

My voice says he can, at will, access these sorts of memories especially when what he’s talking about is related to the memory. I guess my thing is HOW can they do it? I can’t do it, how can they?

Another super obscure memory was me in church at the age of 5. The voice told me I was wondering why a certain last name was being repeated by the preacher. Funnily enough, it was familiar as a memory, but this memory is exceptionally obscure especially when it was roughly 30 years ago.

He accesses parts of my memory often, and even access thoughts you had at the time.

So does anyone have the same thing? And any thoughts or theories on HOW the voice does it, or WHAT it’s doing?

It’s just STRANGE that a voice in my mind be better at accessing memories than myself.

They have done and said things that are beyond me actually, things that i could or would never know, think, say.

They seem to be much smarter.

That must be how they make us again, it’s like it’s all recorded.

I have never had a memory come out in a voice. What I frequently get is memory-triggered hallucinations. Usually associated with places or songs. An implanted voice in a song from 2010- I play the song- even if I’m not consciously thinking about that voice, my subconscious still remembers, and I hear the same voice saying the same thing.

Also, I tend to get triggered to start hallucinating at grocery stores, even if I’m not thinking about it. In 2010 I quit taking my medication and started a new job where there were alot of people. HOLY COW! All kinds of stuff came out of my head that I’d moved on from- memory-triggered from the last time I had a job, in psychosis. Really?

In a “normal” person’s mind, the subconscious does not intrude into the conscious, but performs tasks such as driving while thinking about something else. With our illnesses, the mind becomes split and does not function like a whole unit. Any conflict we have with ourselves can manifest as voices, even if you’re not aware that you have an issue with yourself. Also, manifestations of demons, ghosts, or psychic power may derive from a fear or fascination you once had about them.

Memories get suppressed and you’re not consciously doing it. I caught it in time and reversed it, but I still fight for memory. My older memories are very intact. I still remember German words my sister taught me, memories from old jobs. The mind gets more and more corrupted as years go by.

my voices love to remind me of my past. I have significant trauma, I found this out when I was evaluated. I’m happy to say that I don’t have to hear them anymore, my meds work well for me. My voices seemed to be trying to break my will to live, they were vicious and spiteful, they never had anything good to say, except for one of my voices, which was 17 year old me, who was planning on joining ROTC and hell bent on being an officer in the SEALs. He would encourage me to keep exercising. Strange things…like hearing me from two years ago tell me “don’t stop” when I would begin a run or a set of repetitions while lifting weights.

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This is EXTREMELY fascinating, because I think it applies to me because of how I’m made aware of memories that must be from my subconscious.

Do you or anyone else know that if the mind becomes split, is there still a chance of medicating the voices so that they can go away? Is it difficult for the split to be fixed? And for all people who hear voices, are they part of the group above? I’m wondering, because I haven’t responded to about 6 or 7 antipsychotics for getting rid of my voices. I wonder if the reason is some people are more damaged than others in the split. Probably a complex reason.

There are so many memories, little snippets of things I’ve done, been a part of, or just observed, that won’t stay filed away. They surface at the strangest times and for any reason they want.
I don’t fight them, just let them play on in the movie screen in my head.

I had a lock on it for two years. Still had hallucinations, no voices almost, kept hearing sounds that I liked. But in 2012, something went wrong. I was sitting there obsessing and fantasizing, I thought I was okay with the way I am. The next day, I began to have unnerving tactile hallucinations. I didn’t understand why. Recent mess in my head, yup, the conflict and split is still there. Another attempt to reconcile again with psychology, counseling, and hopefully family counseling to resolve current and old issues. I don’t know if I can ever actually fix how my brain operates.