Accepting reality, do I need meds?

Sorry I’ve been posting a lot about my problems lately. I just need someone to talk to about stuff. I feel like a narcissist…

So now that I’m back in denial and grief of the SZA. I’ve been questioning the need for meds… I know I’m falling into that typical trap-rationalizing it to myself that it would be different this time around if I stop taking the meds. I stopped (cold turkey) the zoloft about 2 weeks ago. No ill effects yet or withdrawal symptoms. No worsening of my condition. It seems stupid that I stopped taking my main antidepressant but I have my reasons: side effects, emotional numbness, and I think it’s not the right AD for me. I plan on continuing to take my other meds, including my AP because I don’t want to hear voices again and get psychotic.

What if my illness is just episodic and not a permanent condition? I know the psychosis and depression are hand in hand with me. But I feel more like my old self when I’m not on meds.

If only it was safe for me to not take my meds, but take them when I get symptomatic. Too bad they all don’t start working immediately.

I used to think like that too, but then I discovered some writtings I did when I was 14 talking about thought broadcasting and how I wished it would stop, didn’t know what sz was back then or even considered being mentally troubled.

Perspectives change, and maybe your view on your life right now is due to the meds.

Quitting cold turkey is never a good idea. Did you talk to your doctor about this?

Nothing like finding out your meds were actually working after you stop taking them…
you’ll probably have your answer in a few months.

Hoping you’ll experience nothing unpleasant for the next few months.

I’ve been there too,
so I understand the dilemma about the med’s benefits outweighing the risks…

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I get what you mean it’s a wonderful feeling. I quit abilify once and I felt great 4 weeks later. I wish my life could always be like that but I relapsed. :cry:

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I see the pdoc next week. I’ll tell him then and talk about maybe trying an SNRI instead.

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Stopping an antidepressant is way different than stopping an antipsychotic. I don’t think I would stop my antipsychotics unless I did it under medical supervision.

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What does SZA stand for?

"SZA stands for “schizoaffective” as opposed to “schizophrenic”. The diagnosis schizoaffective includes bipolar symptoms with schizophrenia. Schizoaffective is bipolar combined with schizophrenia.

Thank you! Is SZA generally more or less serious than SZ or just the same but different?

Depends on the individual. They used to think it was less severe but now they’re thinking more towards case contingent. I find my sza untreated to VERY severe, but I respond to meds very well. Everyone is unique.

The way different diagnosis get bandied around can get tiresome. I think it is a matter of semantics. SZA versus SZ is just a matter of fashion among psychiatrists.

Or major depression and sz.

I get into these phases where I start to question if I really need to be on an Antipsychotic.

The thing is that my current pdoc wants me to remain on an Antipsychotic, she advises me to stay on my Meds.

If you are diagnosed with Schizophrenia, Schizoaffective, or even Bipolar type 1 - Antipsychotics become necessary.

I am realizing that I will need to be on these meds for the rest of my life.

Risperdal is keeping me stable, so I really should not complain so much.

Ok, so in reality 1 side effect of stopping the AD. Insomnia or can’t stay asleep and restless. Which is actually kind of refreshing because it’s the opposite of my normal 12hour sleepathons. Except for the dry eye I’ve got today.

You & you alone get to decide what happens to your body. It’s your given right. No one should be allowed to coerce you to take prescriptions against your will. I don’t understand why my county psychiatrist or case worker do not accept that. They continue to push meds hard & overthink the potentials of a relapse. They’re very unscientific about their examination of my case.

this pretty much sums up how I feel too. my illness is episodic and I do ok without meds for a while, sometimes a long while, but the psychosis always comes back. I just got my diagnosis changed to BP but personally Im afraid that my doc is gonna stop my Aps and Im gonna get psychotic again. After 9 or 10 episodes I think Ive had enough.