Abit lost and hopeless

I have no symptoms at the moment apparently I’m stable I went back to drink and drugs cause I can’t cope with my shitty reality and side effects of medication I’m Abit lost and do have some dark thoughts not sure what to do anymore … I just don’t want to be on this medication no more … I feel I can’t move forward and everyday is a struggle … I barely talk … I’m a year outta hospital which is a positive and have no symptoms looking into reducing it a Lil to see can I have my old self back …

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The drugs and alcohol may be causing trouble.
Medication is usually a necessary evil.
Theoretically, with the money you spend on drugs you could be sitting safely in a theater by yourself in the dark watching a movie. You can’t do drugs forever, you have to quit sometime.
I’m 56. I have a kind of comfortable recovery right now. It gets relaxing and serene. But to get where I am now it took doing lots and lots of doing things that I did not like to do (even hated) at the time when I was younger.

I do not enjoy taking meds but the alternative does not appeal to me.

I did not like group therapy and support groups in my twenties and thirties but I went and endured them and it payed off later. The vocational programs were boring, frustrating and lonely but they opened up possibilities for me. Change is hard, but help is out there.

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I hate taking my med too but it is necessary. I have been out of the hospital for a year as well. I think you should do your damnedest to get off the drugs and alcohol ASAP. It would help a lot. You can do it. Talk to your pdoc. Get one if you don’t have one. I wish you the best.