No prior history of psychiatric/recreational drug use. I developed depersonalization/derealization disorder in December 2016, and recovered completely in August 2019. What I’m experiencing currently is very, very different to anything I experienced then.
- September 1st to 5th (2019) : Took 5 mg of Abilify (Noticed my confidence levels beginning to decline, slight depression/dread/panic beginning to creep in, creativity/cognitive abilities seemed slightly diminished)
- September 6th to 15th (2019) : Increased dose to 10 mg (Symptoms listed above became worse, and developed severe restlessness)
- September 15th to 23rd (2019) : Tapered over a period of 1 week. Restlessness improved but other symptoms became slightly worse
- September 23rd to 30th (2019) : Depression continued to increase. On the 30th I started experiencing the worst case of depersonalization I’ve ever experienced. Severe depression, thoughts and emotions gone, could barely function cognitively. I’m a bit calmer now and the depression has subsided, but the main symptoms haven’t improved still. During my previous episode of depersonalization/derealization I could read, think and function more or less normally. I’m profoundly gifted and could make it through a 300 page novel in about an hour. Loved reading, writing, puzzle solving, had very strong opinions, etc. Now my mind is completely blank. I struggle to have conversations (have started stammering a lot because I words don’t come to my mind), read and generally do anything I was easily able to do before
(I was misdiagnosed with differential psychosis)
It’s all about function and sounds like your struggling.
Self diagnosis is rare but not unheard of. Insight is usually lacking. You sound like you have some issues and what you describe could be a number of things. Antipsychotics are powerful meds and there’s a few out there.
First thing would be talk to your psychiatrist. Having one is usually better than a therapist or such. Something is up and a med change could be beneficial. I had problems of poverty of thought and such on risperdal and did and still do so much better on zyprexa.
Might be worth a change but there seems to be some underlying issues you need addressing. We aren’t doctors. We’re just peeps on the internet so talking to a shrink is much more beneficial.
I take Abilify and this is not at all what I experienced.
Great job on documenting how it made you feel, by the way.
It sounds like Abilify is not the right anti-psychotic for you.
I am curious though as to what you think you may have, since you say you were misdiagnosed with “differential psychosis”.
Differential psychosis generally includes substance abuse, brief psychotic disorder, MDD episodes with psychosis, etc. So we can’t really help you here. I’d say your pdoc made a diagnosis based on what you shared with them, or your therapist.
Do you think you have DID? That might be a good thing to bring up to your pdoc.
I won’t recommend a medication, as I know nothing about pharmacology, but as someone who suffers from schizoaffective disorder, I can say that that “blank mind” you mentioned was a cure for me. So I’m worried that you might be down the wrong path.
Hope this message finds you well <3
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