A waste of flesh and blood TW

Im talking myself into taking my life. I think im treatment resistant. My pdoc and cw dont give a ■■■■. I didnt want to say anything. Talking out loud to encourage. I dont care. Dumb dumb dumb

I thought the highway. I do nothing. I was raised by parents who worked. People wont quit accusing me of being things constantly. Im not ■■■■■■■ laughing anymore. So there goes working. School ,ha im in debt. How does a pos go from working, having own apt, then to being destroyed by their own brain? Its gonna get better. Its gonna get better. NEVER!

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Try to ignore your delusions, do a normal life and no matter what voices or other hallucinations tells you, nothing bad is gonna happen. Sz is not the big thing because no one is gonna hurt you.

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Please don’t take your life, you are strong and there are still many probabilities that your life will get better.

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Im pretty sure someone willnphysically hurt me.

I cant be around people hatdly anymore. I cant syand the four walls. None that even matters . Im treatment resistant fearfully.

Please go to the hospital. You need more help than your current meds are able to provide. I hate seeing you suffer like this.

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Have you tried clozapine?! That’s the question my pdoc would pose immediately.

I dont want to go to the ward for the fifth time. I took my meds early calmed down. Sleep on it. I cant stand it.

Im going to have tp cross a road on a bridge. Its dark. Im trying tp convince myself. God, i hate this.

@roxanna are you talking about convincing yourself to walk to the nearby hospital? Can someone drive you or walk with you so you don’t have to walk alone in the dark?

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Yeah im gping to ask a neighbor.

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That’s a good idea.

I tried to make abilify work.

Yeah, i know you did. There are other meds or med combos to try so don’t lose hope.

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My bf wants me to wait til tomorrow when its daylight. Hes too lazy to walk with me.

Do you think you can wait until the morning? If not, tell your bf, you can’t wait and need to go to the hospital now and you’d appreciate him walking with you.

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I will try and wait. I hope.

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Neighbors at it again.

Anyway,im probably going to walk out the door and walk to the ctc and not say anything to my bf.

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Are you still at home?