A Stone into Still Water- written a year ago going through suicidal phase

It occurs to me suddenly
as I stand looking solemnly
down at the rushing water below
just as I see your glow
that I am still lost

I stand on the edge
how simple it would be to drop off the bridge
plummeting into the cold water
life is meaningless so why bother
if all hope is lost

I’m blinded, bound, and hurt
we’re kindred there’s no need to flirt
am I somewhere in the sky
did I finally just die
or am I again lost

I hear something very load
a roar, perhaps from the clouds
a sign from heaven
the sky splits into seven
and it dawns on me that all hope is lost

the clouds separate
I’m a fool to believe in fate
the water calms, the corpse rots
reminding me of lessons taught
and why I am lost

It began with an evil
who learned to be civil
the darkness above me, the horror within
the day the end of my life was set to begin
it was my innocence lost

Deep within the chamber of my mind
I had lost the will to find
the love I had for my father
his words ripple through my conscience
like a stone into still water