A special message to all of you + a song

As most of you know, a little more than 4 years ago, I made a suicide attempt. The head psychiatrist of the ward suggested because I didn’t have much of a social life at the time, to try going back to the recovery center. Well, for the next several months, I was still having a hard time. Namely, I developed a huge crush on the OT and then a few months later, fell hard for the music therapist. But, even though I was struggling at the time, I think deep down and in the back of my mind when I first met them, I knew it was going to be hard not falling for both of them. I don’t think there’s a day goes by that I don’t think about them and what happened. With that, I think I am very thankful for having had both of them in my life and the positive, indelible and profound impact they’ve both made upon it. Although, a fair amount of people, saw the good in me, I strongly believe at the time, that they did more than anyone else!

Which leads me to this forum, and namely you people. I’m strongly thinking about writing an article for the next recovery center newsletter, about my experiences and some of the people on here. I think I definitely want to include you, @everhopeful, @jukebox and @77nick77 for sure. But, last but certainly not least, I’d like to finish it by mentioning “the so-cute-they’re-hot” ladies that have somewhat stolen my heart, @anon80629714 and @Anna! I’d like to think maybe in a way, you’ve replaced the affections I had with the other two women. Only to some extent the tables have turned and I’m kind of a mentor to you both. But, I think you’ve also helped me out some as well!

And now for the song selection, which is from the Britpop band, Keane who had hits with “Somewhere Only We Know” and “Everybody’s Changing”, if you remember back in the mid-2000’s. It’s a song called “Hamburg Song”, on their 2nd album, _Under the Iron Sea. I remember listening to the song one day I think in 2006 and my Mum was going through her first bout of Hodgkin’s lymphoma. It made me think of all the troubles our family had gone through and I wanted to cry, but had to force the tears. The song is really about wanting to “shine a light” on someone, especially if they can’t see their own worth. I must say, that up until recently, especially these last 4 years, I had slidden back into a state of fear and self loathing. It’s been hard to see and remember what I’ve accomplished and given back these 9 or 10 years. Really, this is person I really am and that’s what really matters. Hope you like the song. Thank you and love you all forever!:heart::heart::heart:

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This is sweet. I always appreciate your likes even though you said you don’t just give them to me you give them to everyone. I think you’re big hearted. And I am glad you feel positive and much better. I hope you continue on your path to recovery.

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This is such a positive post and I love it! I think it is amazing how even people we meet online and don’t know in real life can change us. You were lucky to have such dedicated mental health professionals as well. Glad for you!

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I think this is a cool post. I definitely highly relate to some of it. I appreciate you, mim.:grinning:

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I was looking at some of my old posts and I saw that a lot of people here were kind to me and really helpful while I was in distress. It was nice to see that, I really do appreciate this forum.

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Thanks for the glowing response, everyone! As for the song, I just got done printing it off from www.ultimate-guitar.com. I actually don’t think it was ever released as a single. anywhere. But, it would be a difficult song for me to perform, and to a lesser extent share at Song Sharing. The lyrics just hit so close to home, and not just myself, but also how I’ve watched my father, mother and brother struggle with their self-esteem over the years. This song really is to me what “Tears in Heaven” is to Eric Clapton. Poignant yet beautiful!

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thank you for thinking of me @anon96671092 I’m glad you are at a happy place.

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I’m not quite done yet! Firstly, here’s some love advice for you @anon80629714, by way of Ron Sexsmith. For when you meet the love of your life:

https://youtu.be/r-qluNkYt5U

And, something for you, @Anna, a little something to help you celebrate yourself:

https://youtu.be/pdys91t6IKk

Keep dancing, sweet sister!

Man, Billy Duffy can really play that Les Paul!

Cheers!

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Sweet @anon96671092 I’m gonna have a look later as my ear feeling sensitive right now. I’m gonna check in morning. Thank you for thinking of me.

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I know the feeling of meeting someone even better than “the one who got away” or the two in your case. Even if the new person I meet it could never work out with, it makes me realize the one I was dwelling over wasn’t as worth it as it seemed :wink:

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I know that the girl I knew in the hospital wasn’t right for me because I barely got to know her, so it was pretty pathetic on my part! As for the OT and music therapist, they still have my heart in a big way. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if the latter of the two admitted she had a bit of a crush on me. But, in all fairness and seriousness, @Jonnybegood, they were professional relationships and you fight tooth and nail for something like that not to happen. No matter how physically attractive or beguiling their personalities are. It really isn’t worth going to jail for!

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I apologize to @admins, if I seem a little over the top the last 2 or 3 days. I may have missed 3 doses of olanzapine last week, but so far I’ve taken all my meds this week. I’m not manic or hypomanic, I promise!

you can tag admins in a post??

how about @moderators

attention!!

I can tag you!!

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Okay, @Jonnybegood!!! 15

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Yeah, but it does nothing! Did not get notification for either the moderators or the admins tag.

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