I lay down beside a frozen river, where larks no longer sing their melodies of hope,
And deers flee to the countryside, where flowers bloom in everlasting light;
Flowers hopelessly bloom, only to die after letting out their young souls to the Divine.
It is winter here; there are no beautiful arrangements of the Requiem Mass,
Nor triumphing choral musicians singing a song in their respective parts.
I myself, a soprano, sing but high melodies fall, without seeing the world’s glorious light;
I mimic myself to be a soft mezzo-soprano, but my voice falls to the cold ground.
There are no larks to guide me, or to teach me to pray, to raise my soul up to the sky.
So I conduct dying flowers, frozen rivers, sleeping trees, and beg them to hear my voice;
But, it is winter here; there are no beautiful arrangements of the Requiem mass.
What matter is the heavenly light people receive, and why do rays of lights shine outward,
Away from me, and away from thousands and thousands of shadowy dominions?
How many trees die from dehydration, and how many deers cry in their friends’ arms?
Creatures are meant to sing, and meant to proclaim glorious beauty over this majestic world,
But the world turns its face away- it is winter here; there are no beautiful arrangements for us.
Arise: let fallen trees resurrect, and let birds shower themselves in compassion and grace;
Let them, and let us save one soul from this unforgiving winter, hand in hand, unto the sky.
Let souls wake up from their dormition and raise their eyes to our shadowed lands;
Gather singers with their open eyes, and let them become a ray of eternal light.
Let them become the lux æterna, and so shall there be an end to eternal winter.
What dreams, one day, to shower everyone with eternal light that l imagine it to be;
And how beautiful it would be if my song will finally reach to sky, to make Heaven pleased.
How majestic it would be, to hear the larks harmonize and deers making dynamics;
And how glorious it would be, for us to see that the world is ready to let a song shine over us,
To hear the sound of a beautiful arrangement for everyone to share in delight.
This poem (again, free verse), is kind of influenced by…my experience with schizophrenia. I see a lot of shadowy figures- sometimes tall, sometimes short- which I thought was like a shadow over my head. When I told one of my family members that I had schizophrenia, they told me to not to tell anyone, because it was considered ‘dangerous’. I always wanted to share my story to others and raise awareness of this disease. I still dream of it now, and that’s why I wrote this poem. Lux æterna is a Latin phrase meaning, ‘eternal light’. I used ‘light’, along with references related to Requiem Mass. Requiem is a form of mass for those who have passed away. I always felt that I died inside because of the stigma I received because I was schizophrenic. Singing is a highly important part of me, especially because I am a music student.
I hope you enjoy the poem- and thank you for reading!