A Real Personal Matter

I’m 49 going on 50 and I still have to wear diapers because of schizophrenia. It used to be the worst thing imaginable to me and I tried like hell to go without them but I always ended up needing them again. Now I’m in therapy again, like I have been since I was 16, and I’ve finally thrown in the towel and accepted my lot. It isn’t so bad. One fragment of my mind likes to wear them because it’s still a baby having never developed out of infancy. Other fragments of my mind are somewhat bothered, but are coming around to understanding the inevitable nature of my illness and some of it’s symptoms like this one. I live alone in my own apartment, and no one bothers me about it so it’s okay. I just get tired sometimes, that’s all. I’ve got all the other symptoms too, but you know, the medication helps with all that. It’s funny how some folks think the meds make you magically well overnight. Ain’t so, is it? The drugs I take now are way better than the ones they used to give me so I’m grateful for that. Anyway, it is a personal matter that I needed to share with others who just might possibly understand. But I might be mistaken, I don’t know. Thanks for reading.

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Worked for me. (TOTAL acceptance of what is, because, after all, what is is, whether I “like” it or not.)

I am so glad to finally see someone on this forum point to a fact about psychotic disorders, and that is that our minds are broken into parts; they are not reliably integrated into a single, “whole” self.

Sounds to me like your acceptance is working for you. If I may ask, what is the name of the therapy your therapist is using?

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Is this because of incontinence due to cognitive or med side effects or due to paraphilic infantalism ?

There’s a collection of (interesting) thoughts.

In answer to the question about the type of therapy, currently the therapy is CBT - REBT according to Albert Ellis.

My incontinence is a form of developmental disability most probably due to sensory deprivation during infancy, and intense stress during childhood. It is not a paraphilia as I am fully aware of the so-called AB/DL community, and I am at odds with them, because they see playing baby and wearing diapers as being fun and games. For me it has been nothing but heartache. Yes, the confluence of where a diaper is placed on one’s body could arouse any sensitive person under the right conditions, but that isn’t the primary motivator. Rather it is a profound confusion in the structures that govern my excretory functions as they relate to strong emotions, especially stress that causes the problem.

Thanks for your kindness.

Damned fine stuff. I used it for years. There are more sophisticated cognitive therapies now. but if the identified problem is essentially one of distorted cognition / delusional though, REBT is terrific. (There is also an overlay on REBT called “self-talk identification, questioning and revision” (SIQR) that mechanizes REBT in a manner that makes it a modern, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy – and even a somatic therapy – by using non-dominant handwriting.

I’ve pulled up the Wikipedia article that you posted, and I will be examining it carefully. This is very helpful. That you very much.

thought i would say hi. :heart:
take care :alien:

Hi there. Thanks for typing me.

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I read the article on SIQR and it was fascinating. I don’t believe it would cure my incontinence, but I do believe it would do wonder for some of my other symptoms, including those associated with PTSD, my other diagnosis, and my schizophrenia with regard to having arguments with people who aren’t in the room - a little habit of mine. Maybe yours too. It’s no joke man, schizophrenia is serious.

I’m sorry to hear your struggling. I’m glad your on a path that is helping you…

I’ve noticed this too… I guess this is how people are taught meds work.

The way I see it… the meds just keep me going enough to have the motivation to do go to therapy. They help me keep the mood stable and the sneaky brained thinking away. But it’s the therapy that has helped me relearn how to be a better me.

I’m glad your here… welcome to the forum. :v:

Thanks SurprisedJ, my incontinence would probably be better understood by the hundreds of thousands of schizophrenics who live in nursing homes. A lot of them have the issue too. I used to be in nursing homes, but I got lucky in that Illinois has a program that demands nursing homes offer assistance to their residents, if they want it, in getting their own apartments. That’s how I got my place, otherwise I’d still be in some filthy nursing home, wasting away. And you’re right; the therapy is what helps me keep a positive attitude about everything. I don’t mean to be too forthcoming, but I want to say that I can become very depressed about changing my own diapers all the time, every day, day in, day out. Therapy - especially REBT helps me to accept that life has its inconveniences, and to live as well as I can. Acceptance is the key.

Thanks again.

Stay strong Brother, every day is a new day.

I like that philosophy. It is quite unlike the philosophy from the movie with Bill Murray entitled “Groundhog Day” where every day is exactly the same as the last. I believe I’ve been possessed of that bad belief system for too long anyway. Its time to see new days! Thank you for your encouraging and wise words.

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