I was still a hard worker but very low self esteem had convinced me I would never be worth a paying job. Somehow I couldn’t work and have monetary worth both. I know that makes no sense but that’s what my mind told me.
I always had a pre-psychosis fear of being homeless. Thankfully that never happened.
For me the fear was going to university , and coping with the increased level of independence that would be required.
I wanted to get away but it would have been wiser for me to stay home a few more years to mature. Being from a small town was part of the problem. No much for a teen to do.
I was young for my age in terms of the coping skills required for being at university .
I was a social misfit.
Same here . I was very much a social misfit. Still am.
Yes. Fitting in starts with caring but we withdrawn szs aren’t inclined to show special efforts of caring. Social blunders don’t help any.
I never had much hope, because I seemed to lack the ability to speak.
A speaking phobia was my major reason for the fear of a paying job.
Re-reading my first line, it sounds like my bosses wanted cheap labor if they made me feel I could work but wasn’t worth money to them.
we all have this feeling
forget about it
i know it is sometime get out of hands
but forget it
Low elf esteem is a personality problem and it is not as easy as forget it or get over it. Nice try.
I’m glad you see it doesn’t make sense now.
self confidence and esteem are very oscillatory in our disease
whatever you did
there is always voices that put you down
fight as you always do!!!