I feel I need a
Normie wife , or
A lottery win to cope.
Odds on either are zero.
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Have you ever thought about going back to AA. I doubt you’ll meet a wife or the lottery numbers there. And I know you’re in remission from alcoholism but maybe still it’ll help you cope. You used to talk good things about it maybe the camaraderie would be good. I’ve heard you speak about camaraderie in the hospital too being a good thing.
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I daydream about winning the lottery or sports betting mainly so I can afford more food that I like but that wouldn’t be good for me because I’ve had a problem with being overweight since 2010 after I first moved to the Midnight Mission in downtown Los Angeles and started working in the kitchen and gaining weight. The same thing happened to me in 2013 when I moved back to the Midnight Mission and started working in the kitchen again. Both times I would pig out and stuff my face with the good food and gain a lot of weight. Then in 2015 when I got diagnosed with schizophrenia and put on meds the meds made the weight gain even worse.
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0 is my hero every time I get there when you’re starting over and have nothing to fear so drive that sporty car or show off your new house either one will get you a wife the lottery
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This poem made me laugh because I’ve felt like that too. Maybe my best chance is to win 7$ in the lottery and get a non-normie wife called Norma 
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