A never-ending battle

I feel like God did not write out my story. Everything is miserable. I am very sorry but I refuse to count my blessings. Everything I do seems wrong to these voices, and they punish me for everything! If you read my earlier blogs, you will see that it was because of a certain guy i liked I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and now, there was a guy who added me that looked alot like him but seemed like a nicer person. And it disgusted me for he was so young. What is God trying to do with these kinds of tactics. I written many letters to God, but he seems to be mocking me in return. I don’t even know if God exist anymore. To be honest, the only thing I feel blessed about is the food I eat and having a roof above my head. Even since I encountered this education I got sick. As if knowledge has turned into a curse. I can’t even focus on studies, because these voices constantly bring me down and discourage me. My reality is just as bad since my feelings are played with all the time. What kind of society is this? Is there no God? Is there no virtue? Is there no hope? So messed. I am so tiered and very very desperate.

i read robin hood the book as a kid… when i had no one, being abused etc…
robin hood had morals was fair and kind.
he was loyal and gave the money to the poor…
he was liked and respected…
it is not whether god exists or not…it is what is inside you that matters.

you need to become your own hero…you need a set of morals that you can respect and look up to.
for me i had no one in my life so i took on the code of robin hood…i became my own moral compass.

you will be remembered by the kindness you have shown others
take care

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It’s a blessing if one has the love of the opposite sex, but it’s torturous if one seeks the love of the opposite sex, not to mention the mental illness you have. My experience is seeking the love of the opposite sex can trigger hallucinations and delusions. There must be a link between psychosis and romantic love in our brain.

That is great advice darksith. Good, there is in you my friend.

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It’s possible the chemical reaction of love can really throw one off the tracks? Like the term love struck but times 10

Yeah, I am worried for Ramnee99. Hope she get some peace by not craving for love of the opposite sex. Romantic love is so dangerous for us schizophrenic.

hey,

Life. Love. it all happens and often we don’t have guidance or replies to our feelings!

Seriously. Schizophrenia is a problem but it’s not unsurmountable! You deal with your medications then you deal with your issues…there’s no soft option for this!

Take your meds and don’t listen to rubbish. Religion is great except for a schizophrenic! Love is a complex thing and you don’t need god to love!

Seriously. Get your medication right!

A friend in the struggle,

Rogueone.

Thanks for all your support. But yes it is hard. I am currently in university and the voices always discourage me telling me what career path i should choose. Drives me nuts!