A luxury problem - priorities

is it more important to go on holiday (husband works, he pays)
although I spend more than that on food per month / year
OR/ for me to have a life of my choosing i.e. something to do all day every day for potentially 6 years,
I want to study BA Ceramics and Glass degree part time for 6 years
He wants to leave the area and live 45 miles away, but my mum is here - still helping me so much after all these years
The course would start in Sept 2018, (if we make it there alive) and i want to do part time for 6 years.
it’s about £4000.00 a year which is way out of my budget but I would contribute Everything I possibly can, i’ve already stopped purchasing things of any kind other than essentials
He is not on a high payed job, and i’m on ESA and PIP (uk disability benefits)

IF my mum is up to spending this kind of money on me still I think it could work splitting the bill 3 ways…

is that fair - when he works and then loses a massive holiday ever year

Even - what is more important
?

But to me it’s a no brainer… I think all day every day life vocation of the decade is more important than an upgraded second and final holiday each year
but i would say that?

HSorry - i can no longer edit…

With me telling him - buy it - have it - get what you want and don’t feel bad for years, he’s wasted a lot of money changing car every 6 - 12 months!!
sorry i know i persuaded him to have what he wanted but it is probably several thousand £££ in changing car almost every year/ he lost so much money

I don’t want to bring it up - but surely he thinks about it?
or should i remind him? (point scoring) (below the belt in fact)

srry chrystal but since your spending euro’s on a car 6-12 months?(I have a short attention span now). I didn’t read all of it (I’m srry)…but if your man wants to move(not sure of the situation) then it shouldn’t be such a last min thing. I dunno your situation but if you have dreams, its fine…but let him know what you want also. maymbe I’m misinterpreting things…but you both are in this together. Put your opinion out there, and voice what risks there are…and if he decides to go against it then either you follow him or you don’t. Its a personal issue more than anything else…so you decide yourself.(excuse me if I got things wrong)

1 Like

You are right that it is a real thing for us to decide
But I do think the main thing I wanted to know got lost in all the details

I’m saying is it more important that I have a reason to get up in the morning potentially for six years or for one holiday of total 2-3 weeks a year be downgraded to a weekend away somewhere near here
A passion for daily life only for me
or a week in the sun downgraded to a local weekend for us both
He said something like ‘great, so I have to work all the time and get no holidays’

Can you get any help from the government? It would make sense for them to support your kind of initiative. Could you and your husband live separate from each other part of the time? I don’t know your husband, but I wouldn’t bring up the cost of the cars until there was no other argument. People can be sensitive about money and all. Maybe you could borrow money from your mom and/or your husband. You seem to want to do this pretty badly, so be firm, yet tactful. Try to get your husband to understand what this means to you.

2 Likes

srry chrys…but I think you may be overthinking things. I am wrong in certain ways but…the way the muslims think is that the woman will respect that man’s decisions about things wether it bring him down or not. its like you being the queen, and you have to sink with the ship because you supported it. (if that makes sense). im not trying to imply anything, im just trying to put a metaphor. there are a lot of immigrants in the U.S that do crazy stuff just for their kids and other things. im not sure what kind of “man” you have, and im nobody to judge him…but hey…the fact your asking this question means you want answers (he is has prolly confused as you are…no offense)

1 Like

btw im not muslim at all…im more neutral~

I think there might be something
Thanks Crimby I wlll look it up in a minute
There is this 3 month processing time for a disability related help which I will need for personal support in the class, but that or could be financial too I will love on it up now cos it is too important not to factor in at this stage of thinking about possibilities

1 Like

Yeah I reckon I am still asking for a decision
Nothing will get in the way of the fact that he has to say what he thinks and he could talk all of it down and dismiss it
But I think he is more the type of guy to put me first most of the time
Would potentially be a huge sacrifice
For him to give 1000-15000 each year for 5 years he will have to sacrifice something

lol, well like I said…sounds like a personal situation. every relationship leads to some point. just put your voice out there…dont tell US…tell HIM…tell yourself…the world is complex. Only you can have an opinion, even him…the only difference is that he notices it…