The last time my brother came to see me we went to a couple of restaurants. They made us feel very unwelcome there. There are ways you can convey that message - wait on customers who came in after you, not giving you condiments, and so on. I was wondering if they have the legal right to ban us from their businesses. The way I’ve been reading the situation is that these businesses are inviting the public to come in. All members of the public are “invitees”, including me and my brother. Because of that these places don’t have the right to refuse us services. We were in no way rude or unruly. If anyone knows laws that say something different, then sure, I’ll obey the law, but these people better not expect any favors from me. Also, by all rights, the people at these businesses should not have any idea who I am. I should be a total stranger to them. That was what I expected when I walked into these businesses. I’m getting really angry about people who have absolutely no right to know I exist coming across in a very judgemental way about my life.
I get that in restaurants. I don’t know about you but I know I look like a schizophrenic/undesirable, by my demeanor, my clothes, no eye contact, the way I’m uncomfortable when I sit. The way I talk kind of like a Rangler.
They’ll seat us very often by the kitchen or back in some nether room or next to the children’s section. People I am with who don’t go out with me often, are insulted. In CA the waiters act rude by not giving me a menu or a dessert menu. If I am leaving the tip, they don;t get much from me.
I don’t know where you live, but in some places in the US businesses are discriminating against gay couples. Maybe they thought you were both gay. I’m sorry you were treated that way and I’m not sure why they acted that way. Just a thought. Maybe don’t go back there.
Our appearance and demeanor were not out of the ordinary. We were like any customers who came in. Granted, my involuntary mannerisms can be disconcerting, but it wasn’t anything too out of the ordinary. There was nothing about my brother’s or my behavior that was intentionally rude. What I don’t like about it was that I had never, ever gone near either of those businesses, and yet they were intensely involved in my life. It was far beyond the usual bounds of what people should legitamently know about my life. I keep getting people coming at me saying I do something to them they don’t understand, and I’m going, “who the ■■■■ are you?”
I don’t think we came across as gay, though it wouldn’t surprise me if they did discriminate against gays in Siloam Springs. It was something different.
Maybe you look very much like someone else?
I get that a lot. People often tell me I look just like someone else. But I don’t think it was that in this case. They didn’t want to serve me and my brother because of an extraordinary situation I am in with the community, and the world at large.
I do not know. I do not go to restaurants. I have a funny story. I had shipped my auto to Belgium and then I lived on the streets in Miami Beach for one month taking regular showers on the beach. Then once I went to Burger King and ordered a meal. Soon the manager of that place came to me and said ‘why do you come here smelling like that?’, well I did not say anything, but one English guy said that I had the right to eat also. The truth was that I waited my plane to leave to Europe, and then in few days I took a taxi from Miami Beach to a nice hotel near Miami International airport and I stayed in this hotel three days and then I took my plane to Europe. I enjoyed the pools they had in this hotel. My last days in America, well that was 14 years ago.
It wasn’t anything like that with my brother and me. We were both washed and in decent clothes.
I would say screw them and just eat my meal and enjoy the feeling of being out among people. No offense crimby but are you sure they were slighting you? The things you mention can be explained away.
Maybe it was a simple mistake that they served someone who came in after you. For all you know, maybe those people had reservations so they got seated right away. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the condiments were accidentally left off.
I think there are laws about discriminating because of race, gender, sexual orientation, or because you’re disabled. BUT…on the other hand many restaraunts or stores have the sign in their window that say something like we reserve the right to “Refuse service to anyone”. If you go there again and you feel like you are being treated badly or unfairly by the staff than maybe you should complain to the manager. I think that would be your best move.
The waiters or waitresses are minimum wage employees who might be taking out their frustrations or problems by being doing little petty things to bug someone that they think they might be able to get away with bothering but the manager does what is the best for business and he does not want his restautant to get a bad reputation. My instincts tell me that most managers would not let any customer be treated differently or badly by his employees.
Managers or owners have to act professionally and if you are not bothering anyone than I can’t see most managers allowing their employees to treat anyone badly.
I wish I could explain it away like that. All I can say is that it was very evident that the people who worked in that place were very much against me and my brother being there, the manager included. I have gained a lot of notoriety over a huge area. I don’t know how far it extends, but it extends hugely beyond what a rational person would think it could extend. I go into places expecting to be treated like a stranger, and they come across with this intense emotionalism about my life. I never have recognized anyone’s right to have these expectations of me. They expect certain behaviors from me that I refuse to engage in.
Have you talked to your brother about this. Is he hearing the same things that you are?
It’s pointless to talk to him about it because my family is in favor of me being forced to do something I absolutely do not want to do. They tell me I’m talking crazy. They treat me well, but they’re with the people who have these unreasonable expectations of me.
I would still talk to your brother about this problem and see if he is experiencing the same thing you are in restaraunts. Just get a little reality check to be on the safe side.
I’m fairly certain that since it is still a private business they can say someone is not welcome. I believe they also have to have a sign displayed that says, “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.” Not entirely sure though.
You probably weren’t treated any differently than the other patrons, and “no”, the wait staff at the restaurant didn’t even know who you were. This is simply your paranoia that you’ve somehow become a world-wide spectacle of some sort…it’s not true.
I suggest you see your psychiatrist as soon as you can. You have to straighten this out before you decline even further. What you are posting is not rational and makes no sense to me whatsoever.
Just sounds like rubbish service to me. Eat somewhere else I wouldn’t eat , a place with service like that.
I read into things sometimes too and get myself all worked-up thinking that other people are thinking things they may or may not be thinking. I’ve also just had bad service and so I don’t leave a tip and I never go back.
I’ve been told I have a huge reputation among the town I live in. But only my enemies tell me that so I don’t believe them.
I don’t know if you can chalk that up to discrimination or conspiring to give you horrible service but it seems a lot of people have a similar experience so I hope you work this out @crimby.