A Friend of Mine Died

I recent friend of mine, a person I had befriended earlier on this year, up and died a few weeks ago. Greg had schizophrenia. He was 61. Fortunately for him, he died in his sleep. I went to the service for him this afternoon at the local funeral home. Apparently, he had touched a lot of people in the community. People I supposed who were family or friends, local business people, retired people were there. On screens at the front and the side of the chapel, photographs of Greg as a child, and as an adolescent, and as an adult with shots of his family were playing in a slideshow. As I sat there, my position in society as a person with schizophrenia was highlighted with every speech, by his sister, his niece and his pastor. The chapel was full of normal people. I felt much diminished, as if I were being defined anew as a person with schizophrenia, although nobody in the chapel except his sister knew me that way. The meaning of the pastor’s words seemed to withdraw at a certain moment. Suddenly there was no God, no meaningful words at all. I left in a hurry after the ceremony was over. I only knew Greg vaguely. He seemed to be the average over friendly, simple, schizophrenic soul. More weeping to do.


I have noted that others do notice the mentally ill in there own way and find positives where we sufferers do not always notice that there might be some positive impact on society by us, as if knowing it would stop us.


When you die, they have to say something.

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Nah, they didn’t have to.

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From what you’re saying it sounds like they focused way more on the schizophrenia than who Greg was as a person, and that is unfortunate. Sorry they were like that.

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Hmmm, sad post. I’m glad to hear that Greg touched many people in his lifetime. I think it helps all of us on here to hear that. When it comes to “normies” and us schizophrenics sometimes it seems as we’re two different species as distinctly different as night and day, and black and white. Other times the line is blurred. But frequently, I feel I fit in so well that there is no distinction between me and them. When I’m in a restaurant or with my family or walking down the street sometimes I feel that schizophrenia is irrevelant that it is not a factor in the situation at hand. I’m sorry for your loss, but at least you had that connection with him, however brief it was.


I am sorry for your loss and your disappointment from the funeral…funerals always really tear me up. I hope your pain goes away as soon as it came.

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As far as feeling no different in certain situations, I think we can have times of normalcy within our sz. If only we could grab on to these times, analyze them and copy those qualities when we are in crisis.

Condolences on our loss. Never easy.



I’m sorry, @martinhersey1 :heart:️ Nothing diminishes you; nothing. :heart:


I’m sorry @martinhersey1. I believe it’s likely your friend woke up to another dream

They didn’t focus on the SZ. I’m sorry I gave you that impression. The pastor was understanding and kind to Greg’s image. His sister played up his sense of humor. I couldn’t understand what his niece was saying. She was talking too fast. There was also a singer. Everyone but me sang “Jingle Bells” because it was Greg’s favorite song. I felt like an idiot. By the way, and this had nothing to do with your username. I had turnips for dinner yesterday. I didn’t like the smell but they were okay as a vegetable. I just might eat them again. They tasted good with soy sauce on them. I’ll have to worry about thinking I am eating YOU. Is there some reason why you call yourself “Turnip” on this site?


My condolences Martin.

It was the first thing that popped into my head while trying to come up with a username. I have no idea why lol. But I just went with it.


Greg loved children. Was childlike himself.

he sounds like a nice guy, sorry for your loss,

when i die i’d like to be remembered like that, take care.

Yo … ,

e(Y)e Lost My Mom to Cancer a Few Years Ago … ,

We Had a Kind of Relationship Where We Didn’t Even Have to Speak Much to Each Other … ,

One Would Motion Metaphorically and thee Other Would Step Aside … ,

As an Example My Mom Bought Me ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR When e(Y)e Was a Kid and She Was & STILL is a Strong Believer … ,

but She Trusted e(Y)e Would Handle a Strong Message of a Different Species of Faith with Plenty of Common Sense … ,

Naught to Mention tha Spiritual Law Abiding Hand of Her Pure Morals of Faith … ,

T(Y)me Does Naught Heal All Wounds , e(Y)e STILL Miss Her Laugh … ,

and As T(Y)me Goes Along , Tha Wounds Run Blood , Onli Scabbed Up and Rotting Away tha Flesh of Absentee Faith … ,

All e(Y)e Have Now Are Memories … ,

So Hold Tite and Nvr Let Go … ,

Perhaps One Day You Will Wake Up and He Will Be Knocking On tha Door … ,

and All of Thus Will Be a Silly Dream … … …

@martinhersey1 sorry for the lose of your friend. He is in a better place. You made me laugh when you said they all sang “Jingle Bells” and you felt like in idiot and the whole turnip thing. I can tell you are a great person. From what I understand you were 21 in you became ill. Does it run in your family. My son is 19 and he in under this impression that no one is ever going to want to be with him because of the way he is. He is very hard on himself. I hate seeing him like this. Take Care

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Sorry for the loss of your friend. It sounds like he had a nice memorial service though, which is something good.

I hate funerals, ive been to six in the last six years. Last year there were 2, my Grandmother and my exes aunt. I went to my exes aunts funeral, she insisted, but not to my grams, the thought made me physically ill. Of the six funerals I only went to four of them total.

EDIT I went to them, but wasn’t really ‘there’ if that makes sense…