A forgotten past (childhood & early development) a theory

so i was thinking that way back when we were born and we were babies developing that we learned to trust our mothers and our mother helped us to overcome certain fears we had about unfamiliar places and people we didnt recognise, i think that this was the basis for us to learn how to overcome our basic most fears, we also learned what made us happy and sad and laugh and cry and whenever we cried our mother would be there for us (or father in some cases)

fast forward and we develop into adulthood, i got sz

but its where i think it might start that i am curious about, this is just a theory but maybe we forget what we have been taught early on in our development and what we learned from our mothers as babies, our most basic instincts,

paranoia is a fear of not being safe and this may be a symptom of a forgotten development from when we were babies, maybe we push our fears so far back that we forget what it was like to have a mother around to feel safe and secure around,

when we were toddlers we learned to be more and more independent and started to walk and talk to other children and laugh, cry and experience different emotions, we were using the techniques that we learned from being in a mothers arms to be free,

but when we develop sz we lose that freedom in some respects, my paranoia when i had it was a deep rooted fear of everything around me and of bad things happening and people out to get me

regressing in my development and forgetting the very basics that i learned as a child about how to cope with fear may have a lot to do with the development of my paranoia. i chose to forget and pushed those memories or suppressed them so much that i was unable to use the skills i learned in my development as a baby/toddler,

having a bad memory is usually a big tell tale sign of suppressing memories of learned behaviour that we gain when we develop as we grow up,

this explains paranoia and social isolation as well as a few other things i found myself in as i started to develop sz i think it happens in stages and its a gradual breakdown over time until we cant cope with life ourselves anymore and we need to rely on meds instead of that learned behaviour, that resistance we put up as we developed at the most earliest stages and as we grew up.

does anyone know where i am coming from? it is early in the morning and these thought have just came to me so i thought i would write them down and hopefully get some feedback :slight_smile:

p.s. this is just something that occurred to me, i have no scientific evidence to back it up yet and iā€™m hoping to learn a bit more about it, it makes sense to me though.

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