Today is my “day off” at the Group Home. I don’t have any chores today. Yet 2 weeks ago I did the dishes. Why? Because the guy who is supposed to do it never does his chores and by the time the dishwasher was ready to be unloaded I was too bored to not do it. At first I liked the idea of a day off. But when I started getting more energy after losing some weight I began to feel differently. Last week another guy beat me to the chore. It seems even though he had a chore that day he likes to feel as productive as possible. Oh well there’s other parts of the chore. Like cleaning the tables. It’s less desirable but I may force myself to do it today.
The guy whose job is supposed to be is in terrible shape even though he is the fastest guy here. He smokes and drinks caffeine excessively and he is a miserable wretch. He probably is also very physically sick from a life of excess. I was physically very sick and weak myself from excessive sugar consumption and the diabetes that played along with it to hurt me badly but I am recovering. We all have addictions here and sugar was mine. As it is I eat artificial sugar and it plays Hell with my digestion. Even though I don’t smoke, drink, or take hard drugs I take the most meds here. Addiction and mental illness seem to go hand and hand.
We had a chance to ask the management yesterday for something for Christmas. I at first asked for winter gear but then another guy started asking for a nerf football. And then I asked for a soccer ball and a volley ball and we dreamed of getting back in shape. He said we could take a break every 15 minutes in this Spring daydream. Then he thought of something really radical. How about teddy bears? I then thought of how cool that actually was. There was something to hold on to at night in a World that actually was well lonely. Maybe I’m human after all.