My mother stopped me seeing my dad growing up. When I was 19 I met up with him much to my mother’s despise. However I became unwell shortly afterwards and moved to the US so I didn’t see him again for many years.
3 years ago I contacted him and we have been in communication regularly. He lives 2.5 hour car drive away so I don’t see him often.
Because of the way my mother is I always have to go and travel to see him. And that is hard with a 3 year old and a 1 year old.
So in 3 weeks he is coming here for the first time. I told my mum to not come over on those days (to avoid any conflict)
Now she is off on one saying I’m not respecting her by bringing my dad here. That she doesn’t want him in Shropshire (the county we live in) and that she is going to move next year and not tell me where. That I’m not respecting her.
My dad wants nothing to do with her. I’ve explained this. I obviously have my own property where he will be coming. It’s not like I’m living with my mother. Am I in the wrong here ?
wow…sounds like manipulation, if you like both of your parents…maybe tell him he can’t come down? that way , your mom doesn’t blow up…i’m sorry…I am just looking at the immediate peaceful solution…if you still want your dad to come down…explain to your mom that you think she’s being unfair and she can’t see the boys anymore if she keeps this up.
I don’t understand why she cares so much. This reminds me of my mom and stepdad, he’ll get all mad about her business years later but she on the other hand has moved on over a decade ago and doesn’t care who he talks to in the family (they divorced long ago).
It would be nice if you could just let him visit without telling her somehow. I guess that’s not possible with the kids involved though.
If you want both in your life (or need them later on) I would try to be very cordial about it. Family is complicated. I think it’s good to be in good terms with everybody. You never know when you need them.
Your mother is acting controlling…hmm…perhaps one of the reasons your father left? Keep the invitation to visit for your Dad. It’s none of your mother’s business. You gave her a heads up which was nice.
No your not wrong! If you want to see your dad then see your dad. Your mother is the one with the problem. It’s unfair of her to try to keep you and your dad apart. Go ahead and see your dad.
It is possible your mother is trying to protect you. What happened between them should not bleed into your personal relationships though. You are an adult and choose for yourself. The threat of moving counties is probably a hollow scare tactic. You seem to be in logic and making good decisions.