The Not People
The Not People (A brief, silent sketch)
Lights up on office setting with business dressed people doing all kinds of day to day tasks. The Bigfoot-like one is roaming around slowly. He is furry but has on attire of corporations like Cheerios, Goodyear Tires, and Six Flaggs. The people in the office do their best to ignore the Bigfoot-like one.
BIGFOOT-LIKE stands over an office woman getting coffee. He looks bewildered.
OFFICE LADY gives him a sugar cube, and smiles a forced smile then walks away.
BIGFOOT-LIKE crushes the sugar cube then wipes it on his hair on his head. Then he gets a mug of coffee and takes a small brush, dunks it into the coffee and then combs his hair where the sugar was.
He goes back to the woman who had gotten the coffee and smiles a big smile.
OFFICE LADY goes along with it, and makes him feel good by getting her phone camera out, and she does 1-2-3, then clicks his photo. She then shows him the pic. He looks bewildered.
BIGFOOT-LIKE sees a calculator on the desk and he tries taking the office woman’s photo, can’t get it, gets frustrated, goes to throw it on the floor, but office lady stops him.
OFFICE LADY shows him expense reports, then uses her calculator, and silently says to him, See?
BIGFOOT-LIKE takes the papers from her and tries eating them.
OFFICE LADY shakes her head, no, no. She walks him over to where the break room is with donuts.
Then she walks away.
BIGFOOT-LIKE sits down and makes a wagon out of donuts and straws and napkins and fork for a handle.
OFFICE MAN comes into break room and looks bewildered. He goes to the computer in the break room.
BIGFOOT-LIKE comes over and stands over office man at the computer. He looks bewildered. He goes over and takes the t.v. Off the wall, and sits right next to the man staring into it.
OFFICE MAN mouths no, no, and shows him typing.
BIGFOOT-LIKE points and goes over to a piano on other side of room, and pretends to type on it. He doesn’t feel the same affect, so he places the t.v. On top of piano and stares into while he is pretending to type.
OFFICE MAN looks at him with pity, shrugs his shoulders, points to his wristwatch, and then waves goodbye. He leaves.
BIGFOOT-LIKE comes out to the main lobby and proceeds to try to eat the plants.
OFFICE LADY comes up to him and says no, no, points to Pizza Hut delivery guy who looks very frightened, and backing away. She asks him for the pizza, and he nearly throws it at the office lady and bigfoot-like. She gives him a slice.
BIGFOOT-LIKE examines it thinks it is a flag and sticks a pencil through the crust and hangs the slice upside down waving it until it all falls apart. Then he looks very sad.
OFFICE LADY mouths no, no, and she proceeds to eat her piece.
BIGFOOT-LIKE then eats his piece and the pencil.
OFFICE LADY looks at him with pity, shrugs her shoulders, points to her watch, and walks away.
BIGFOOT-LIKE feels like now he should eat everything, so he munches on the plants, eats the newspapers and magazines, pours water bottles over his head, and smiles real big.
OFFICE MAN looks mad at Bigfoot-like. Points Bigfoot-like to sit down and don’t cause trouble.
BIGFOOT-LIKE sits Indian style on chair, head thrown back, he falls asleep.
OFFICE MAN dims the lights. He walks away.
SEXY MAN half dressed comes waltzing onto the stage carrying a huge sign that says: Corporations Are Not People. He gets to center of the stage and shows it to the audience. He puts on a safari outfit in front of everyone on stage. He then goes over to the sleeping Bigfoot-like, and says come on, and they proceed to hop out of the office and off stage. Office people have been watching reluctantly then go back to doing office things.
Lights out. The end.
-property of Daze