It’s been 22 years since I came down with schizophrenia. I remember it like it was yesterday. I haven’t had a psychosis in 20 years. I’ve been taking my medication every day since my last psychosis. I’ve been on 10 mgs Zyprexa all this time. My doctor tried switching my medication a few times but I always go back to Zyprexa. After a week or 2 of the new med I can always feel psychosis coming on.
I spent 10 years in the workforce trying to maintain work. I held one job for 3 years but after that it was all downhill. I kept getting fired from the other jobs I had. My doctor has a pharmacy in his office and in between jobs he was able to give me free samples of Zyprexa. Since Zyprexa came out with a generic there are no more free samples.
My mom and step dad think I should go back to work. If I did I’d have to have a job with health insurance. If I got laid off or fired I wouldn’t have insurance and wouldn’t be able to get my meds. If I can’t get my medication and had another psychosis it could take years to recover again.
I had an argument with mom the other day. My step dad called and tried to start some ■■■■ with me. He told me I was useless and just collecting off the government. He’s an alcoholic and an ■■■■■■■.
I live with my grandma right now and she’s 77 years old. She helps me out letting me live here. If something happens to her I’m not living with my mom again so I’ve been trying to save every penny I can to get my own place. I’d rather be homeless then live with my step dad.
My local human services always screws with me and my benefits. They cut my medicaid off for a year. Thankfully I medicare also as a back up. I had to get my state representative involved to get my insurance back. I finally get my insurance back then they cut my food stamps off for a year.
I always worry about getting my medication. If I had a psychosis and lost my marbles again I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself. My no 1 priority in life is my medication.
At least my doctor is supportive of me. Early on I had some real ■■■■■■■ doctors. They wouldn’t work with me. It was there way or the highway. My current doctor lets me have a say in things. I had one doctor flat out lie to have me thrown in the hospital. She wanted my car keys and I told her no. So she lied to the hospital to have me committed.
Anyways this is pretty much my life living with this illness.