I feel the same way, I’m a guy, but my life was way better before I developed schizophrenia. I was really social, had friends and girlfriends, partied, had a full time job when I wasn’t at school. Things were good. I don’t know what would help with acceptance, just one day I realized this is my life, I have schizophrenia, deal with it. It stopped bothering me as much as it used too.
I use to have anxiety and panic attacks. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) really really helped with that. On rare occasions I would take 1mg of lorazepam to help with anxiety. I use to have some paranoia when I was psychotic, I thought I was being mind controlled. I don’t have racing thoughts, mood switngs, OCD and I was never dangerous.
Stability helps, I am able to work a part time job and I am happier than I have ever been since developing this disease. Finding the right medication helped the most. But I still wish I didn’t have schizophrenia.
When I decreased too much I became psychotic. I had to switch to Lurasidone (Latuda) and that made me feel a lot better, I also became much healthier, I lost weight and my blood tests came back perfect.
No, I don’t have any friends or a girlfriend, I haven’t in a long time (years). I can be social and appear totally “normal” but once I tell people I have schizophrenia, I think when they hear the word “schizophrenia” it freaks them out and they would just rather avoid me once they find out. There is a lot of stigma and misinformation about this disease out there and usually when they mention it on the news it is because someone with schizophrenia did something awful. I haven’t told anyone at work and everyone (girls, guys, managers) don’t suspect a thing and I get along fine with all of them, but I know if I told them they would probably treat me differently.
I get along good with my immediate family but they are all I have. My parents are on their 70s so I don’t know how much time I have left with them… When they die I’ll be alone. I have a brother but he doesn’t understand schizophrenia at all, and we don’t share a lot of the same interests or beliefs, but we get a long fine.
I take 300mg l-theanine a day (100mg in the morning and 200mg before bed) and on days that I work I take 160mg of CalmAid (Silexan) before I leave for work. That is it.