Why do you think so many with SZ are single?

I’m single and haven’t dated regularly in 7 years. I am uncertain if I want to be in a relationship or date although I get tired of not being close to anyone romantically. I have to admit that I am afraid in some regards to make myself vulnerable to anyone… Is this a common feeling among those with SZ and why do you think so many of us are single?

3 Likes

Because schizophrenia strikes males at a significant stage in their development. It typically manifests itself in their late teens or early twenties. Those are the years that most young adults are discovering who they are and how they fit into society, now that they’re out of high school. Schizophrenia realy throws a monkey wrench into our development at that particular time. The symptoms of schizophrenia make it REALLY difficult to form romantic relationships at that time. Most 19-23 year old women have enough of their own problems without taking on a schizophrenic partner who is deep in psychosis. It’s kind of hard to date when you are psychotic and spouting off about our weird delusions and paranoia. Obviously there are some exceptions and some schizophrenic males date and get married. For schizophrenic women it is different. It usually strikes them in their late twenties or early thirties, years after they have already learned how to be an adult.

6 Likes

I’m a 42 year old woman and was diagnosed at 32. I was in a committed relationship at the time of diagnosis it had been 6 years we were together but I took it upon myself to leave the relationship and go to grad school hoping it would help me to restructure my life and overcome a new illness I knew only so much about. I dated for several months in grad school and haven’t since.

I’m a strong person. I’ll get through this. I’m learning how to be an adult now. My parents are kicking me out…slowly and smartly, but yeah they’re kicking me out. It’s almost now or never with a relationship I feel. I might lose hope in the next couple years.

Girls felt bad for me in college but none of them tried to “save” me. Yeah that’s bad that they “felt bad for me”. lol.

I think the lack of confidence is a real purpose behind being single. And its not just an issue of someone dating someone who is eccentric its about dating someone who is chronically ill.

3 Likes

If you know your history you’ll know that Romanticism is basically the love of death. There is the desire to do what our parents did. They were together while the much needier baby was expected to get through the night alone. It’s the empty infancy in ourselves that cries out for romance. I think it’s why men shave. We are secretly looking for a mother. I’m 70, was always single but live in a group home.

1 Like

So you’re saying the Oedipus complex is even truer with a schizophrenic because we are more needy?

I think romance is the ideal. Its companionship that most us are looking for and many need.

2 Likes

No, I wasn’t thinking of Oedipus because I think the responsibility of sex can only terrify a child. I was thinking of a baby. But an only child especially might think premature sexuality a better way than loneliness.

Personally, I’m a male and I never met anyone I felt like I had enough in common with to have a successful relationship. I’m 55 and I’ve been in only one long term relationship. I never really felt close to her. I really doubt that I’ll have another long term relationship, and I’m not too worried about it.

1 Like

Bad hygiene. :fish: :tropical_fish: :bathtub: :bath: :shower:

5 Likes

Healthy woman wants healthy man!

2 Likes

It is because we have an illness to focus on. Even when in a state of increasing recovery we still have to monitor our surroundings for stressful situations. We have to pay attention to our symptoms. It is like having a career and studying for that career in college at the same time. Then you have your real career and your real college time. It leaves little room for paying attention to would-be lovers. And that’s if you can expect a lover, especially since there’s so much misinformation and willful ignorance floating around about something which you have no control over.

1 Like

I wan to say thank you,because your post gave me a nudge,but I am afraid I will be single my whole life,because I struggle with anxiety and isolation around people that makes me hard to have GF

1 Like

You never know what the future will bring.

2 Likes

Almost any luck I’ve had with women was unexpected and a pleasant surprise.

3 Likes

I’m a 34 year old woman and I really don’t want to find anyone because I’m afraid of how the other person would take it when I tell them I’m schizoaffective.

1 Like

People don’t understand our illness, hell sometimes I don’t understand it.

Occasionally some parents will raise their kids with the whole family sleeping in the same bed.

I was alone. My parents had each other, my brothers in the same room, me waking up at night with the same old nightmare no one seemed to listen too. I’m still alone. I know no other way.

2 Likes

past relations have been intense emotional /destructive. throws my moods way outta wack.
i need to look for a woman who is a little more quiet and less dramatic lol

sometimes i have considered i dont deserve or shouldnt date a healthy woman , i know thats not true but i feel that way at times just makes me feel a bit vulnerable or something