Tbh, i wonder a bit how you all manage to smile on the photos? What kind of strange illness i have cause i really cant smile on photos? i can only fake it… it just makes me sometimes think that i am worse than the most of you here…
Yeap, moonbeam, on the photo above i am on meds. On the bottom - i am ill and unmedicated, before the diagnosis too…the bottom was 10 years ago…
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I stand by my opinion. The bottom picture is sexy.
Everyone wants to feel attractive to the opposite sex. But looks fade and its what’s inside that ultimately matters. Not everybody is lucky enough to be good looking. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You may appeal to certain people. Some may find you attractive.
I was with my mom now. I just wonder why my last guy dumbed me… can the illness be a valuable reason? His father was ill btw and he never got better… I am not sure how I am gonna get me out of this. it was a tough chock… my mom remains pessimistic that ill find a partner… whats wrong with me? what is my illness at the end? an inner conflict? low confidence? dumbness? gosh… I feel like a freak who wont have a nice future lol…
and is the despair who talks like this now or is there some truth that ill be forever alone?
This is me at a younger age too
I relate so much to your thing about smiling x
Sorry
This is not a downer on Anna1 At All xx
Young women who are thin and hate themselves look very sexy
hah ,you are funny. I was like this yes - skin and hating myself lol 
I am fed up by my chronic sz… do you think I can get better? why do I take those damn meds if they dont help me??? I need to have positive emotions for god sake. is some inner conflict the reason of my sz? chrystal, how do you do, you are fine?
do you find that my mother can be right that ill always be alone cause this illness is too tough? she is pessimistic about me…
I’m in the doctors waiting room
Please check back a bit later
Want to answer you right
ok, I will check it later
good luck with the doc
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Anna think you are pretty in both photos.
When I was young and suffering and psychotic and unmedicated I looked super sexy (if I do say so myself 
) but my life was a living hell.
Now I am older, overweight and look tired but I feel so much better in myself. Do you feel better than then?
I always think that when I was psychotic and hot I was pleasing to the rest of the human race but now I am chubby and sleepy I am pleasing to myself!
You look fine and pretty and you seem to be a lovey person!
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thanks pamito, no I am not really better…
I didn’t get enough sleep this night, I try to schedule better once again my sleep pattern cause I started to sleep in the day and its no good.
I am afraid and worried about my future a lot now cause I spend 15 years in total despair and self destruction. and this is the worse prognosis… I became so passive, so unmotivated to go out and I miss this. I need air, I need socializing and I cant do it once because of the negative symptoms or second, because of the paranoia. I am tired to have these two, I cant fight against them anymore. I need to feel something good at least. Its been 2 months that I upped my Zyprexa to 10 mg… my mom accepts my condition but I feel guilty and paranoid to be so passive, that’s all now…
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I think that if you work with your doc, trust and honestly
They will always listen, although the one problem if you keep request a meds change, They will probably give it to you.
This is because they want you to be compliant and want to stay happy with them And within yourself
is not always the best thing because it gives stress and trauma with medication not being stable
changing because of one or 2 side-effects or another side-effects can give you psychosis in between all changing to is worse and you can’t function on that one
Chronic schizophrenia doesn’t have a massive all out recovery
only the best meds and the best living situation social and psychiatric and some contact with society regularly
I went on a dating site and find a husband -
speaking for luck quite strongly
If I had not met a nice guy everything could have been a lot worse
I think this is as far as recovery can go…for me, I need a lot of support and at the same time, a lot of us will not be capable of all that much
Some handle stress better than others
I think that is where achievement schizophrenics differ (sorry x wild guess)
I have looked in a completely similar way to your 2 photos
I know it’s a difficult change
Doesn’t have to be permanent
I don’t think your mum is right at all
I don’t think she understands the illness or the meds - on that comment
Weight gain is practically inevitable… We are hungrier.
Weight loss is also possible but it’s very difficult- I’m trying again now
Do something completely new
Go for more walks,
Sign up for a September season course
Sleep in a tent or on a balcony or some green area
Go to a support group,
Make a new friend
I was about 30lbs lighter off meds, but that’s been years ago. I’ve been playing with these meds for so long that I don’t know anymore if the weight gain is med related or just due to age.
I think you look beautiful, and if you just take one small step at a time, you can regain your health.
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Have all sorts of pics of me - i’ll put up a few more extreme ones.
my sis thinks i look bad in the second photo, but i think it’s in a good style
i was about 75kg
Top one was 2 weeks ago weighing 86 kg
in this one i look quite happy
want to show you the real 68 kg and the frowning one of me at 86 kg
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3 weeks ago
age 18
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@Thanna has a point.
No one looks the same as they did when they were younger.
Personally, I was so happy when I got into my thirties and realized I don’t have to be thin, waxed smooth, or lavender scented to get laid.
Ends up I like, and men like, my chubbier, leg hairy-er, not showering everyday self.
I can be a mess and still a stone cold fox.
Also, dating is hard, even without all our additional issues.
Stop being so hard on yourself.
Have you ever tried positive daily affirmations? They build self esteem and are a super healthy habit. A super powerful way to start the day, even if it does feel a little dumb at first.
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I don’t know what that means.
You look very pretty in the bottom picture.