Who thinks i still look pretty?

do i look unhealthy? My way of living is too bad… plus the depression makes the things worse…
i feel unhealthy too, not only physically looking…
pfff, i have those cheeks, i am swollen… i guess my heart is suffering by the sedentarity and the meds…
My features are not anymore so well looking, its a pity…
i still have a hope that ill feel better one day and i ll go out more often, it can help me.
but this day was awful to me. i was so weak and so suffering that i wanted to throw up…
selfie4
i put a second photo, off meds but already in quite mental pain…
az4

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That was you in the second pic???

You look different but you look great in both pics IMO

I love you anna1…I root for you as much as anyone else on the board.

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yeah, its me BigJon:) you see, meds change us :(… but there is also the paranoia and the depression, they difform me as well :frowning: .
thanks for supporting… I had so much pain in my head today after a talk on the phone with my ill friend that I wanted to throw up. I am a real patient…

@Anna1 hang in there…
You are a beloved member of this forum.
In the top picture you look overweight.
Within 5 to 10 years you will recover.

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I am on weed on the second photo. But even with the weed, I was sad. I have those sad eyes so I wasn’t happy even before meds lol lol lol.
but erez, do I look unhealthy now?
oh, I hope ill be better faster than 5 or 10 years. I live very badly. after 10 years ill be even sicker if I continue like this and the problem is that I continue like this… 2 packs of cigarettes per day, no air, no movement etc etc.

This was me when I first started meds

this is me recently

I’m lucky for abilify because doesn’t cause weight gain much at all

I haven’t changed much, just more definition in my face because ive gotten more insight :thinking:

Thank you for digging up that old pic…you’re a looker anna!!! I think you still look very pretty and you are beautiful the way you are…but the red hair is a major turn-on for me lol. I love redhead girls.

I just think you are waiting for something, but there’s no need to wait. Go out enjoy your life, conquer the world, have fun. You can and will enjoy yourself. I’m sorry you’ve struggled so much but it will get better. You have friends don’t you? Appreciate your friends more! Friends are precious.

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Ok. Please do not take this mean it is not my intention. A few days ago my mum said to me I should wear make up often cos it makes me a new person. She says without it I seem a little too shy and go back into my shell. She says make up makes me seem more alive. You are pretty. You are. But in some honesty I think you’re tired. I know it’s hard work our mental illness. I don’t know why you say swollen. ? I don’t see it?

yes, you look fine Big jon :slight_smile: My mom as redhair in her youth :slight_smile: but me, I am a brownie lady :slight_smile:
pfff, I dont know how I am gonna to have more fun when I have a pain in my soul. I count a bit more on the meds. do you understand this? now I try to less think about the illness.
but I am ill since kid, dear. I just gave up. and I need to feel something better in order to start to live. I am tired to fighting… sorry to be like this but yes, I am tired.
I am better with my friends already but i am without a defense too you know… sometimes i am too good while they are chasing their interests. i cant put all my life in the hands of my friends… i was hating my family and that turned against me…i had my deceptions in the friendship too, its all i wanted to say. i counted too much on the friendship but it was me who was dumb. I am nice with my friends already, dont worry. i am less aggressive on my meds now…
but yes, i need to feel something in order to start living. i am fed up by the pain and the loneliness who killed me.

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no problem for the comment, ish :slight_smile: My brain feels like dead, that’s why i look tired i guess. maybe i need more spirit lol :slight_smile: i feel swollen i dont know why, maybe its some delusion or my fear or some physical hallucination…

You are a survivor anna1!!! How old are you? I think you’re in your 30’s.

Which is a great age to be in.

You rule the world, but you still have a whole lifetime ahead of you. 30’s are great!! I can’t wait till I’m in my 30’s.

i am 35 bigjon.

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I would not say swollen. Your cheeks like mine. In that we’re chubby a little :slight_smile:

but you all, dont you look bad too when you were very ill? i am ill people and i dont enjoy it.ive just inherited or saw a way too much… i am ill since kid and this is a bad prognosis… i was tired as hell at my 15s already…

i dont have positive emotions tbh. that’s what makes me look bad. i dont have joy… that’s why my eyes are tired…
yes ish, we are chubby :slight_smile: But i am afraid it will be worse if my meds dont help me a bit more…

You don’t look bad. But as for appearance i still do and used to look very anxious. Like people would come up to me and say “smile” or “are you ok you look lost?”

i see… yes, its a pain… me, i look in my feet a bit when i go out so nobody bothers me lol :smiley:

The bottom picture is very sexy. The top picture you look like all the other people I see walking down the street.

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oh @77nick77, sexy? i didn’t know that… i was closed in myself even then and i didn’t love myself even then so i didn’t know i can be sexy.
guys, sorry about my eternal questions but i just needed to chat here sometimes :slight_smile: i just got a really bad down today, i am afraid and pissed of that it still happens… the combo of my symptoms and the meds is still very hard for me…

They can’t take away your beautiful eyes an mouth !! I’m overweight…I know your pain. I love you @Anna1

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@jukebox, you are a sweetheart :kissing_heart:. Yeah, whatever, appearance is sometimes just a dumb thing… i know i can look better if i start to go out but it wont be soon. But maybe, maybe it can happen. I sometimes feel better even though its for 5 minutes. before meds, i wasn’t having this 5 minutes anymore…
i was depressed as kid already. hating myself, judging my parents… why i went so selfdestructive? i wonder if i had all my brain. its just dumb to hate yourself… but i had intellectual deficits too i think, memory problems etc etc.
but there is also the thing that i cant think well. My ex called me dumb once… i couldn’t even talk and he said that i have those cow eyes, yeah… i got addicted to this guy, it was dumb…

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