a full day - defined as say - with a friend a whole day going to lunch exerciser class and a walk and another couple of things - say it’s someone you don’t know That well but are good friends?
can you do this stuff easily or is it all:
‘i’m screaming stressed and not functioning?’ and needing time out
i could do this in rehab twenty years ago - long days busy till 10 breakfast before 9 for 4 weeks
i did work fulll time for six months but i didn’t really speak to anyone
What are your limits and limitations?
as well as not working a proper job - I need a lot of time at home not doing much at all - and sleeping and exercising sometimes and cooking
i fell apart today after 9 - 3.30pm
but it was a necessary setback because now i see i need to go back to AA meetings
Even though I’m pretty much recovered now when it comes to most things, I still get pretty tired the next day after having a “normal person” day. I can do it, but it takes more of a toll on me now than it did before I got ill. Still, it’s a lot easier now than it used to be.
ooooh, I don’t mix well with a busy schedule. It makes my eyes glaze over and head spin.
I don’t care if it’s a full day of fun (supposed to be) or hard labor at a job, I crumble up and head home with the biggest stomach and headache.
It is hard for me to be out in public. It causes me significant levels of distress. I am hypersensitive to stimuli, noise, bright lights, smells, touch like someone bumping me, etc. Strangers make me feel unsafe and aggressive and outside is full of them. Don’t even get me started on public transit like the bus.
I gave up on going to my classes once I was able to get notetaking services through my school’s disability services. My attention span is trash and I do not absorb anything as I simply can’t focus.
So really if I leave my apartment at all nowadays it is either to get food quickly or if I am going somewhere with friends. Leaving the apartment takes huge effort…I think I am just realizing as I type this how narrow and small my life has become. I am worried for how I will adjust to nursing school and that career.
On the one hand; I don’t know if I can blame my illness for this but I get bored if I am off doing something for a long time that isn’t thoroughly engaging to me. Maybe I have ADD but I doubt it because if it is something I am really into, I can do it for a long time.
On the other hand; since I have been ill, I feel awkward because I am overweight, don’t comb my hair and wear cheap clothes. I also fear that I may lose control of my behavior. In short I feel like I look mentally ill. That combined with fear of acting like a nutball tends to curtail me.
I stick to short term excursions or ones that aren’t very challenging. I’m also broke which makes it hard to ‘get out there’ and do things
I was exactly like you Anna, with all the difficulties you talk about.
my psych’s suggestion was antidepressants and i have never looked back.!!
It changed my life beyond recognition for the subsequent 15 years and i hope will carry on.
maybe you could discuss this
roughly 100% of schizoprheics have depression and anxiety - both of which are treated by all the antidepressants i know of my anxiety made any life / studying self esteem etc all would have been completely impossible
Yeah Zoloft actually took all that away for me as well which is why I went back on it recently. But I keep forgetting to take it…actually this post just reminded me I haven’t taken it yet today! Ack!
What anti-depressants have you tried? Im on 15 mg of Lexapro and I don’t feel much of a difference. Its been a few months. This is the only one I’ve really tried though.
I forgot to do that!! And then I couldn’t decide what time to set it for because I wake up at totally different times everyday So I put it off more. But I finally set it!! (Like 5 mins ago lol) If I need to I’ll just wake up, take it and go back to sleep!!
I think citalopram was pretty good, but it’s pretty individual with side effects
Those were okay but fluoxetine is better for me
It helps with bulimia at high doses which has also been really important
Like you I can’t handle going out of my house even with my family. Sometimes we go on drives or hikes but most of the time I stay home from hikes. I can’t handle taking my dog on walks which is rare for me to do, places like downtown,the store etc. I recently got a screen door put on so I could see outside and get extra fresh air flowing.
I can handle being outside in a public space for about 2 hours max then I start to get really antsy and want to go home. I also never leave the confines of my neighbourhood except for this one mall which is a 15 min bus ride away. Considering all of this, I have to be with someone and put on my headphones fullblast sometimes with sunglasses. If I’m doing something super relaxing/fun/low-stress I can handle longer hours but thats rare. Baby steps.
What I noticed is when I’m busy or doing something useful I forget all about schizophrenia/depression and keep on going for a full day. Come back and realize I totally forgot to think about my issues. Other days, when going out with friends or family on a “fun” day I tend to have more symptoms, which in turn, can exhaust me and can cause issues like thoughts of isolation/withdrawal. Sometimes I wish I have something to do to keep my head busy, other times, I just wish I can be let alone with my issues. I prefer, even though it’s really tough, I wish I had something to keep my mind of things. And that’s actually the best way to deal with mental illness, taking your mind of things instead of isolating yourself and keep on obsessing about your issues. Though, got to admit, both are “addictive”.
I can only handle going to work and maybe going out to a store after work, but usually I prefer to go home and relax right after work.
Some times I can handle a day out with friends after work but it just depends cognitively how I’m feeling.
So I put it off more. But I finally set it!! (Like 5 mins ago lol) If I need to I’ll just wake up, take it and go back to sleep!!